Learning To Live

Chapter 7: Slowly

It had been a full week since I'd come to the Gray's and I had nearly slipped back to where I had been before.  I respected Leilani, but I was as rude as rude can be when it came to all the boys.  I could tell everyone was worried about me, but I didn't care.  I wanted to take my mind off of everything, but I didn't have any way to light a cigarette.  It couldn't hurt to search the kitchen again, I suppose.  The boys were all outside, and Leilani was at the grocery store.  That left Jim. 

I grabbed a pack and headed downstairs in search of Jim; he was asleep in an arm chair.  I grinned widely as I went back to the kitchen and started rummaging through the drawers and cabinets again.  I searched where I had found the last box of matches, and I wasn't surprised to find it was gone.  I was about to close that cabinet, but I saw a single match lying at the back.  I smiled even bigger as I pulled it out.

I checked to make sure Jim was still asleep and the boys were still on the beach before I headed out the front door.  I couldn't very well do it at the side of the house, because the boys would see the smoke from the beach.  Maybe they wouldn't see it, actually.  It was several yards away, and they were all busy having fun.  Even if I did get caught, it'd be a good forty five seconds before they could make me stop. 

I struck up the match on the side of the house and lit the cigarette.  The second I stuck it in my mouth, I felt more relaxed.  I stood there watching the occasional car drive past on the road in front of the house as I smoked.  Oh how I missed my old house where I could do this every day without getting caught or grounded.

"Well, well, well."  I turned around to see Keoki standing there with his hands on his hips.

"What do you want?"  I rolled my eyes, wishing he would just leave me alone.

"I want you to stop."  He frowned.  I chuckled a little and shook my head.  Did he honestly think I'd listen to him?

"Why don't you just go back to swimming?"  I shooed him away.

"Yeah, you know I can't do that."  He shook his head, walking toward me.  I rolled my eyes at him; this family was really starting to get on my nerves.

"Dude, just leave me alone."  I glared.

"How many boxes of those do you have?"  He questioned, tilting his head to the side.  I just rolled my eyes and ignored him.

"Hey, some of us guys are going into town.  If you give me that box, you can come with us."  He suggested.  I thought about his offer for a second.  Maybe if I went with them, I could get a new lighter or a box of matches.

"Fine."  I handed him the box, knowing I had plenty more, and stomped on the cigarette in my hand.

"We'll leave in five minutes." Keoki started to head inside. I sighed loudly and followed him, dragging my feet.

* * *

"How many of you boys are coming?"  I asked Keoki in frustration.  It felt like I was surrounded as we walked down the driveway.

"It's only four of us."  He chuckled.  It was true, there were only four.  It was Keon, Kayson, Keoki, and Kai, but it seemed like all ten of them.  The boys chattered all the way there, and even somehow managed to get me to say a few things.  Keon, Kayson, and Keoki all ran into Big Save to buy some skittles and left me stuck with Kai.

"Why did we even come here?"  I asked, making it obvious that I was annoyed.

"Have you ever had shave ice?"  Kai asked, showing me that crooked grin of his.  I shook my head; I'd never even heard of it.

"Come on."  He started moving faster toward a shack called 'Shave Ice Paradise'.  It sounded a little hokey, but I didn't care as long as it tasted good.  We walked inside and headed up to the counter.

"What flavor do you want?"  Kai asked, after ordering himself a cherry.  After looking at the different kinds, I settled on blue raspberry.  I still didn't know what a shave ice was, and I was starting to get curious.  The lady behind the counter handed Kai two, what appeared to be, snow cones.

"So it's a snow cone...?"  I asked, awkwardly.  Kai looked taken aback when I asked that.

"How dare you?"  He jokingly pretended to look personally offended.  I looked at him confused.

"This is so much better than a snow cone!"  He laughed, starting to eat his.  I tried mine as he went and sat down at a table on the porch of the store.  It actually was 'so much better than a snow cone' surprisingly.  I wished that the boys would hurry up and be done, because I felt so uncomfortable sitting with just Kai.

"Is there anything that me or my brothers can do to make your stay easier to endure?"  Kai asked, his tone changing drastically.  I didn't like how it sounded like he actually cared.

"Yeah.  How about you try staying out of my business."  I smirked at him.  He gave appeared to be on the verge of rolling his eyes.

"Natalia, I know my Mom's talked to you about this before.  We just want to help you.  I can tell you're slowly getting better, but you're not quite there yet."  He sighed.  I scoffed on accident.  No one ever actually made a real attempt to help me get better.  Well, not until now, that is.

"Yeah, well, I'm beyond help."  I chuckled, not even looking at him.  I was watching the ocean in the distance; so peaceful and free.  It was beautiful.

"Do you honestly believe that?"  Kai asked, slightly frowning.

"Uh, yeah.  You've no doubt heard at least parts of my story, so you should be able to understand why I'd feel this way."  I have him a side long glance, not liking the fact that I could feel my guard slightly lowering.

"Lia, you're not beyond help. I promise."  I didn't miss the fact that he called my 'Lia', but I didn't mind so much anymore.  I started thinking about his words, but I didn't see how they could be true.

I searched his in eyes, trying to find proof of a lie.  A lie wasn't what I saw though;  I saw love.