Earth Devil | Bellamy Blake

Chapter Twelve. We Are Grounders Pt1.

I pressed a cool cloth against Myles forehead. I kept giving him soft shushs while he groaned and checking on the wounds, I already did what I could to make sure there was no internal bleeding and I stitched him up but I wasn't a doctor. I barely knew how to take care of my own issues. In all the silence but the workers outside I heard a gun shoot off and what sounded like a bullet come whizzing into the dropship hitting a wall. Anger built upinside me and I swept the cloth to open the drop ship. 

"What the hell!?" I yelled seeing Bellamy yanking a gun out of a boys hand. The boy probably fell asleep since Bellamy was putting them on a strict formation where none of us were sleeping. He hadn't given me an order, not after finding him and Raven together he hasn't spoken to me. They had come back with Myles when they went to go find the three teens and Raven helped Bell carry Myles in. Octavia informing me now Monty had gone missing. Raven went to talk to me but I had said I had other pressing matters then to care for her love life. I suppose Bellamy got the hint to and they all left me in the drop ship to care for Myles. Octavia had come in and finding out exactly what had happen between them she hugged me. 

"I know giving you a hug wont help but I know it always helped me each time you did you it when something happened in my life" I smiled and gave her a tight squeeze back before she had left. For the past couple hours I've been in here pondering on my own thoughts. Thoughts of finally leaving this camp for good. But I would be letting the most important people to me down. Ms. Blake had made me promise to care for them and I promised the Blake siblings I wouldn't ever let harm come to them unless I was dead. 

A sound of heavy footsteps came up the ramp of the dropship and a whoosh of the tarp opening to let the stranger inside. They walked to the opposite side of where I sat in front of Myles. I brushed my fingers in his hair he was hot, I knew it was from the trauma of getting hit my two arrows but I didn't know beyond that of what to do. 

"I am sorry. I hurt you. I hurt myself by hurting you. I cant change the past and what I have done. But all I can say is that I wont make the same mistake I have made no matter what happens. I know my mistake has changed everything. It has broken what we had. And the thing is, I know im a terrible person. and im trying to be better. and I know its not good enough." Bellamy kept going and I could hear the crack in his voice at the end. 

"Bell just stop. You taught me that love can be an amazing and beautiful thing" I said standing up from my squat next to Myles and turning to look at the man whose eyes were now on mine. "But you also taught me that love will keep you up till midnight crying softly to yourself, wondering how much more pain someone can endure. But what if I never get over you? What if I continue to wake up every day of my fucking life and want you so badly that my bones shake so much that they feel like they're going to break?" I said feeling my body shake from everything happening only hoping for it to end as quickly as it began. " What if I keep waiting for you tall call out my name or get a sign from something that never comes? What if you were the one, but I wasn't?" I shook my head looking down at the ground hating how much I was showing him when only a few short days ago I kept everything built inside. I saw him take a few steps towards me only to stop when someone entered the drop ship. Jasper. I turned away quickly brushing my face with my sleeve and patting Myles head with the wet cloth once more. 

"Don't you think I want to go after them, too?" Bell asked his voice hardening way more then his voice with me. A sigh came out of Jasper as he stopped walking. 

"if it was you out there, you think Monty, Clarke, or Finn would hide behind these walls?"

"No. They'd go after me. Then they'd be dead, too" I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest watching the two boys only to make sure they don't go at each other. "I am doing what I think is right for the group. "