Amalia Danne was dead and has been dead for almost a year now, and every day Bucky blamed himself for it. Even though it wasn't really, he still put himself at fault. The real enemy was Hydra, they killed her but with Bucky being under their control...
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My Dearest Amalia,
Three hundred and fifty days. It has been three hundred and fifty days since I last saw you, held you in my arms, see you smile, and held on to me for dear life when you knew you were fading away. It has been almost a year now and I am still not over you. How could I move on? You were there for me when nobody else was, trusted me even when I knew I couldn't trust myself, and you loved me. And I love you. But I still see the look on your face when I close my eyes at night, I can still feel your blood on my hands as I held you close and begged you not to leave me, and it haunts me. I wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes even more than once, and my entire body always feels on fire but I'm cold. I have had to find new sheets for my bed because the ones before had holes in where I gripped the sheets, I can't even tell you how many bed sheets I've gone through. What I can tell you is that I am in pain and I don't think it will ever stop, I'll be honest, I don't want it to stop because it reminds me that I'm the reason that you're dead. Steve says that I should move on, that's funny coming from him, you've never met him but you definitely would have liked him. I can't move on from somebody like you Amalia, it hurts to even think about the idea of me falling in love with somebody else. You were the only person who truly understood me.
