My Dearest Amalia,
One of the hardest things that I have to go through around here is being patient. It takes time just to get a lot accomplished, like for instance my memory, I try daily to remember things I did while I was under control. I don't do it to punish myself, but rather for closure I guess. I want to face the things in the past just so I can see and know exactly what I did, because hell I don't remember the half of it. There will be bits and pieces that come back to me in the most unexpected times like while I'm eating or out for a walk or even I'm looking outside over the balcony. But these places they don't trigger anything, and that's the strange part. Isn't that supposed to trigger me? Everything else has so why are these memories any different? I wish I had the answers or at least someone could give the answers too me, because I am sick and tired of waiting and guessing to find out what the hell everything means. And I see Steve trying to be patient, he knows very little of what I went through but I can see him struggling to keep his shit together. That's on me and I know that and damn it I'm trying to fix it, but like he's told me, everything just takes time. I wish it didn't though.
Love Always,
Bucky
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LETTERS TO THE DEAD (BUCKY BARNES)
FanfictionAmalia Danne was dead and has been dead for almost a year now, and every day Bucky blamed himself for it. Even though it wasn't really, he still put himself at fault. The real enemy was Hydra, they killed her but with Bucky being under their control...
