✖He's Not Mine [An Utterly Ridiculous Dramione Baby Story . . . Sort-of]

THIRTY-FOUR

BIRTHDAY TREAT FOR THE BOOKWORM

When the ninth of September crawled in, Draco grinned wickedly as he stood in Hermione's room with a bucket of ice water, Tobias watching from behind his father.

Mentally, Draco counted to three before emptying the bucket over Hermione. Unfortunately, the sleeping witch only shifted slightly, and then disappeared altogether.

"You missed," said a voice from behind and Draco turned to see a smirking Hermione Granger, her wand aimed right at his chest.

"An illusion," Draco said, dropping the bucket. "Very clever."

"I thought so too," Hermione responded.

"All right, on with it, Granger," he said, remembering how hed reacted to Hermione trying it on his birthday.

Hermione took a step closer, lightly poking Draco with the white stick. "Ah, so you know you're not going to get away with it."

Draco glanced at the wand before gently forcing it away. "I don't know, I think I might."

Hermione dropped her wand and launched herself at Draco with a warcry. Not expecting it, Draco stumbled backwards, hit her bed and fell down in it, arms around Hermione.

The witch sat up and threw her head back to move her hair out of her face while Draco couldn't help but grin at the exasperated expression on her face.

"This doesn't really feel like punishment," Draco said, his hands loosely settling on her hips.

"Would you prefer violence?"

Draco smirked. "That does sound fun."

"Oh, you dirty b--"

"Tobias is behind you," Draco whispered, amused.

Hermione whipped her head around to see the little boy there. "Don't you want to go play with the train set Aunt Ginny gave you?"

Tobias's eyes lit up. "I can play with my train?"

Hermione nodded and smiled. "Just don't make a mess, okay?"

Tobias nodded and turned to leave.

"Close mummy's door, please!"

Tobias returned to pull the door closed and once he was gone, Hermione returned her attention to the wizard beneath her. "Now, where was I?"

"You had some choice names in mind."

"Oh, yes."

Hermione didn't get a chance to continue, because with an unearthly speed and swiftness, she suddenly found herself pinned to the bed, Draco hovering over her. "You deserve to be bathed in holy water," Draco said. "You filthy minded prude."

Hermione grinned. "You're just as bad as I am, Draco. If not worse."

"Happy bir--"

"Mummy! Aunt Anna is here!"

Draco groaned and dropped down -- on Hermione, who squeaked.

"YOU HEAVY ASS!"

"Why do they have keys?" he whined instead.

Groaning, Hermione pushed Draco off her and rolled off the bed. "I'm coming!"

Hannah tackled Hermione just as she reached the last step. "Happy birthday!"

"Thank you," Hermione said, hugging the woman back. "Why are you in my house?"

"We wanted to catch you before . . . before Phoebe's . . . appointment?"