Pree leaves the country after getting hurt by Rambo's betrayal and Pop's rejection. Pree loses his faith in love and becomes a ruthless yet successful businessman. He comes back after three years, for the birth of his sister Mo's first child. Then h...
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A hand on my shoulder startled me awake. I lifted my head from the bed. For a second I was disoriented. Then I remembered that I was by the hospital bed of Rambo, who is in a coma induced sleep.
“You came!” Rambo’s father sat besides me. I gave him a small smile.
“Rambo’s father, how are you?” I tried to wipe the sleep off my eyes. I glanced at my wrist watch. Time was five in the morning. Did I really spent the whole night here?
“Please call me Dad.” And that day, three years ago, he didn’t want me to call him dad. Amazing! “I wanted to check on him before I leave the country. I have been postponing this meeting for too long.” He bent down and observed Rambo’s face and gently brushed his hair back from his forehead. “I really don’t want to go, but I can’t let my business collapse, it’s going to be his in future.” He took Rambo’s hand and stroked it. “I will be back son. I will come soon.” He crooned.
“Um… I'll come and check on him. Don’t worry Dad.” I said awkwardly. The old man gave me a strange look and, gently placing the hand on the bed and he stood up. He opened one of the drawers and retrieved a bundle of old note books wrapped in a wide baby blue ribbon.
“I found this hidden in his room. They are his journals from school. I tried reading them to him, in case they might stir something in his mind. But I stopped. They were too personal to read.” He handed them to me.
“I didn’t know he kept journals.” I accepted them curiously. “But didn’t you say that they are too personal?” I hesitated.
“Not for you, son” He smiled. “I was hoping you might like to read them to him?” I took the bundle of books and fingered the ribbon. “Why don’t you go home now and get some rest? I’ll stay with him for couple of hours before my flight.” He sat down. My back is aching terribly sleeping in an awkward position.
“When will you be back?” I asked stretching my aching limbs.
“In a week” He mumbled.
“I’ll be back tonight then.” I started walking away but stopped when I heard him calling me back.
“Thank you” I smiled and bowed to him respectfully.
Mo was eating in the kitchen table.
“Are you just getting back?” She asked through a mouthful of food. I laughed fondly.
“Yes, I was in the hospital, sitting up with a sick friend.” I took off my coat and poured myself a cup of coffee. “Meh… I miss coffee from US.” I winced at the taste. Mo snorted.
“We’re going to give baby Jay a bath. Nick is with him now. Wanna come watch?” She asked excited.
“Absolutely! Let me shower first.” I grinned and dumped rest of the coffee down the sink.
I should sleep. If I am to stay up with Rambo tonight, I need to get some sleep. But my eyes are keep wondering to the blue ribbon binned bundle of old note books. I extended my hand and took it. I tugged one corner of butterfly knot and the baby blue ribbon came undone. I took out the first one and opened it.
It was a one from back when he was in highschool. I touched his awkward crawl of uneven handwriting. There were smudges in many places.
He’s written about his confusion with the attraction to the same sex. Written bit about crushes he had on few of his male classmates and sometimes on male teachers. Rambo’s dad was right. This is like invading his mind. But I kept on reading because what he had written fascinated me. I never knew this Rambo. Young confused, sexually frustrated Rambo.
There were also stuff about his dad. I knew he loved his dad but I didn’t know how much.
I was in the middle of the second book when I found this particular entry.
I saw him for the first time today. He was walking in like a daydream. Have you seen in movies where the dramatic entrance of the main character's love interest happen? Well it’s like that. When I recall it in my mind it always happens in slow motion. I sometimes add one of my favorite songs as back ground music.
Here I am, zoning out again and deviating from the main topic. He came in and looked around for a place to sit. He had the most intense stare. I was afraid at once. Would he be like my other crushes? Would he bully me just because I like to look at him. That’s what happened normally. And I’ve learned to keep my eyes to myself. But that didn’t stop me from checking him out, discreetly.
He might not be the most handsome guy I’ve seen but there’s this strong attraction I felt towards him. And I don’t even know him. Further more he looked like a straight guy. And I’ve learned my lessons not to fall for them.
But I couldn’t help my eyes straying to him. He had this natural nonchalant about him like he’s a jock. I shuddered I remember having bullied by the football team in high school. No no I’m not going to look at him again.
I put the book down and closed my eyes. There’s something strange in my heart like it’s too big for my chest to contain. I never knew he felt about me that way. I didn’t even know he noticed me that day. I knew that he loved me a lot. But I didn’t know how much. I placed my palm over my heart and let out a long breath.
I saw him for the second time. Dad dropped me off straight to the university from home that day. I didn’t want to go to the apartment in case I’d be late for the lecture.
I didn’t run, I just walked fast. Because I felt someone was following me from behind. I’ve had bad experience with stalkers so I tried to quickened my steps. But the danger came from the front. The bunch of male students came laughing on to my face. I recognized them as hazers from another faculty. For some reason people find me amusing. They wanted to do stuff to me like how a cat would play with a mouse.
They bumped on to me, making me drop my file of lecture notes. Why they would get a satisfaction out of harassing a defenseless mouse like me is beyond me.
I bent down to pick my notes and someone else is helping me. I didn’t pay much attention to them since I’m annoyed. Because like an idiot I haven’t numbered my notes. Now I will have to read them one by one to find the correct order. Urg!
And then he was handing the lecture notes to me. His intense eyes staring me down. Except they are not harsh like I imagined. They were soft and warm with a caring expression. He was standing tall and handsome and looking at me like I mattered, like I’m not some puny animal he could crush with one stomp of his foot. That’s the vibe I usually gets from guys like him. But he’s different.
I didn’t know he was this insecure. I knew he lacked self-esteem and it took him sometimes to come out of his shell. But I never knew how much he suffered, before I came in to his life.
And I left him without giving him another chance. I pushed him to this fate. I did this. I lowered my face to the book and cried for the silent, motionless boy lying in the hospital bed. Would he ever wake up to write wonderful things like he used to? Would his beautiful mind ever find the way back to his equally beautiful body?
