hidden ~ stenbrough

Final Chapter

[a/n: au where belch is alive because belch is life]

Nothing suddenly became perfect.

Eddie and Richie had a lot to work out. It took months to sort through all their issues that branched into smaller issues, but they were growing closer and closer to a strong bond. Their roots would hold them steady, they knew, despite the storms damaging the limbs above. Their love felt infinite; their arguments felt meaningless. Honesty was their key. They both envisioned a beautiful relationship; they were determined to open the first door towards their future.

The Losers' Club in its entirety came clean about what was real and what was illusion; what was lie and what was truth; what was felt and what was fabricated. They, too, would have a long journey until that fragile, paper-thin trust could be melded.

Richie got over Bill when he realized little Eddie was perfect in his own imperfect way, and that was all he needed. Richie didn't want sex if he could have precious Eddie, pure Eddie who had somehow gotten drunk at fourteen and grounded for a month (he had to tell his mom he dropped his Xanax to avoid getting stuck in the hospital, and Sonia Kaspbrak did not relish this news).

Bill and Stan came out to their parents, and Stan also confessed the truth about his self-harm issues. They worried, as most parents would, but both sets of adults accepted their sons and Stan sought professional help. He reminded himself of what he'd known all along: this was a part of him. Not a good part, not a desirable part, but one of the flaws that would stay on his skin until his heart was better. A flaw he was trying to overcome, and one that would eventually be overcome, at least mostly, and until then, he could wear his scars with something close to pride and say "Yes, I have a problem. And yes, I'm strong enough to get past it."

He would never be fully good, or fully bad, again. He was out of the capital-B Bad, and though life still felt grey and uncertain and bittersweet, Stan knew this was Better. Every day, he got a little Better. Maybe, that was enough.

Stan and Bill also came out to the Losers, as part of their new search for honesty. Leaving their closet behind resulted in Bill's breakup with Bev. "Uh, B-Bev, so...I'm g-gay, a-and Stan and I a-are...d-d-dating. I kinda ch-cheated on you."

She wasn't mad for too long. Anyway, Stan and Bill's relationship inspired her to come out as pansexual.

An Instagram post announced Stan and Bill's relationship to the world in January:

trashmouthtozier aye that's my boi

ekaspbrak how cute! have fun being gay guys

billdenbrough love you too, Stan <3

stan_the_man thanks @ trashmouthtozier and @ ekaspbrak

stan_the_man love you more <3 @ billdenbrough

billdenbrough impossible @ stan_the_man <3

trashmouthtozier @ stan_the_man and @ billdenbrough you guys are hurting me it's so mushy

stan_the_man like you and @ ekaspbrak aren't sickeningly mushy @ trashmouthtozier

gretab you're depressed and gay?!

belchhh hey that's pretty cute, good luck with the depression, I can relate

stan_the_man yeah deal with it @ gretab

stan_the_man @ belchhh thank you! Good luck for you too

badass.bev hey don't forget to credit me for the picture

stan_the_man oh yeah! thanks @ badass.bev for the lovely picture. I'm surprised you support this..

badass.bev @ stan_the_man I find it hard not to support such a cute gay relationship, @ billdenbrough you might want to see this

billdenbrough @ badass.bev @ stan_the_man yay! The Bev Marsh seal of approval for cute gay relationships that cheated on her

Everything was broken and scattered and smashed, but perhaps that was simply an opportunity to put pieces back together in a different way; to restart, to rebuild. Happiness did not demand perfection. Happiness did not even demand big, glowing smiles and cheerful, optimistic attitudes.

For Stan and Bill, the lines between happy and sad were blurry and merged, and all they needed was improvement, endings to their hiding, small steps, twilit evenings with their friends, hand holding, and leaning on each other so neither would fall apart.

Someday, maybe they'd be beyond this feeling of close-to-okay. Maybe they wouldn't. They were getting better, slowly, together, stronger than they had been before, and prouder of their fragmented selves. A little broken, a little happy, a little sad, a little better each day — and not at all hidden.

"Broken crayons still colour."