All That Matters

Revealing The Past 2

Jaye POV

I couldn't get the words to tell him the things I seen as a child. The things I've experienced as a 12 year old damaged my mind, soul, pride and dignity.

"So are you gonna tell me"

"You sure you want me to tell you"

"You don't have to tell me your life story, I just wanna know what he said to you"

"He said don't do that girl"

"How did that make you mad?"

"I've heard people say that before towards my sister and not in a good way"

"Woww I didn't know you have a sister"

"She's dead now" I said looking down"she died when I was 14"

"How did she die...if you don't mind telling me"

"she committed suicide"

"Why would she?"

".....Cause she started getting molested by our uncle"

I couldn't help but break down. Thinking about the things I did when I was younger burned me. I used to have to watch her get molested. I don't know why he made me stay there. I was scarred for life seeing my sister like that. Sometimes I wished it was me and not her. Some nights I would sleep in the room with her cause in my head it felt like I was protecting her.Nobody knew but me and her, if you're wondering how I hid the pain. Remember this a smile can hide everything.

"Sometimes I think what if somebody I'm close to molests me.... I'll probably kill myself too"

"Jaye..don't say that again.I'll make sure nothing will ever happen to you."

"I appreciate that"

"Jaye I swear to you I will never let no one hurt you"

"Don't say that Chris"

"Why not... I'm being serious"

"Cause I don't like it when people break their promises"

"Jaye look at me...look"

I turned his way and looked him straight in the eye as he grabbed my hand.

"That's a promise I will never break.. you understand"

"Yeah I understand" I giggled

"What's funny?"

"You sound like somebody dad"

"Aye can I make a confession"

"Yeah... I guess"

"Jaye I really like you you're a great person and really cool.You're so different and you not like these other girls. When I first came to your school you didn't just see me as a fuck,but a person...I would love it if you would be my girlfriend"

"Of course Chris" I said hugging him

I grabbed onto his neck and bought him closer to me he leaned towards me and began to kiss me. It almost felt as if he was kissing my pain away. He brushed his tongue across my bottom lip. I purposely denied his entrance and pulled away from him.

"Why you playing Jaye"

"Cause I'm sleepy Chrisss"

"So I guess that's my cue"

"No.. my momma not gonna be here until tomorrow. I want you to spend the night"

"You sure?"

"Yeah come on,but don't try any funny shit" I said as lead him to my room.I heard him mumble "no promises". Cause believe this if I wasn't a virgin I would lay it on him good.

I laid in my bed and watched Chris strip out of his clothes leaving his boxers on. I couldn't help but stare. His body is EVERYTHING. He laid down beside me and got under the covers. I was a lil distant at first cause I'm not used to being in the bed with a boy. But Chris wasn't having that. He turned my body around so my face was facing his. He rubbed up and down my back laying his head in the crook of my neck. At first I just laid there stiff but this thought ran through my head "fuck it". I got on top of him in a straddle position and laid on top of his bare chest. Before I went to sleep I gave him a simple kiss not tryna deepen anything so we won't end up having sex.

"Good night Chris"

"Good night Jaye"

I slowly went to sleep. That night was so hard for me cause the whole time I was horny,thinking about the things we could've done. The reason why I'm saving myself is because when we do have sex is not gonna be because I want him but I need him. The thing that surprised me the most is that he didn't try anything except for rubbing my back occasionally. Hopefully me and Chris can last without sex, cause I know he's not a virgin and I don't want him to pressure me. I can't say I trust him but I do see the potential.

-DeneiseJ