Sam

I love you

*Sam*

        When she looked up and saw, she didn't know what to expect. A look of hatred, a face full of disgust, but never in a million years did she think she would look up and see Jack crying. For a second she didn't know why he was, but when he mouthed I'm sorry she knew that it was for what happened between them. She didn't let here mask break until she started the song with the rest of the band. She let out a tear at the fact that her Jack could be back. She knew it wouldn't take too much to forgive him for leaving her, but him hurting her would be a whole different subject. As she tried to carry on playing the clarinet, she couldn't help but let out more tears, she knew she probably had mascara stains all down her face, she looked up hoping that nobody had noticed, and nobody had but Jack. As they locked eyes he mouthed beautiful to her, and she knew that the right person had noticed.

      She didn't' know what happened exactly at that moment, but as she watched him watch her, she saw the love and the pride in his eyes, and she felt the warm fuzzy feeling grow in her stomach and down to her toes, she felt as if her whole body was on fire. The look in his eyes was enough to make her loose it. Her tears came at a faster rate, and she could barely read her sheet music, she was so happy she memorized the song, she always did it because she knew there would always be a part where she had to pay attention to the band director, and she wouldn't be able to look down at her sheet music without missing the instructions his baton gave her. She could see the baton waving in the air, and she knew she had to keep her head in the game if she wanted to finish this song strong.

        Sam looked at Jack for the support she needed to finish this song, she didn't dare to look at her parents knowing there was looks of hatred and boredom on their faces, they never supported her love for music, and she knew that they probably never would, but it was her passion, and for awhile now it was her life. It drowned out the sound of her parents fighting every night, it drowned out the sound of her sobbing as she let into the pain that was her life, and most importantly, it expressed who she was. She didn't have to suppress who she was when she listened to music. Like when she was in school, where she plastered a smile on her face to just survive the day, knowing that it'll never get better because she has a dead best friend and another one that abandonded her. Sure everybody knew about the whole Jack thing, he used every chance he could to brag about it, but nobody knew about Henry.

        She met Henry when she was two, he was one of the firefighter's sons, they grew really close, they were inseparable until they were five, that was when they had to part ways and go to school, she never forgot about him, they hung out on the weekends whenever they could, and they even saw each other after school sometimes, as they grew up they stayed best friends, they went on vacation together, they spent every moment they could together. They knew everything about each other. When they made fifth grade, they were so excited to be middle schoolers, until he got cancer. She would spend every moment she could at his side, she went to the hospital so much they knew her name. She would lay with him every night and slept by his side. They said I love you to each other because they never knew which day would be his last. They meant it in a friend way of course, but it still meant so much to them to be able to say it.

        His treatment started working and he was out of the hospital for awhile, she was so excited to see him getting better, they were even closer than before. They would only leave each other's side for school. One day in seventh grade Sam got a call on the bus, she ducked down so nobody would see her, she answered her phone and she heard sobbing on the other end. She looked at the caller ID and immediately knew what happened, but she wouldn't believe it until she heard the words on the other end. When she finally heard the words that Henry died she broke down, she couldn't believe it. When she walked off the bus, she was a mess. Her mom saw her and asked what happened, she dialed the phone so her mother could hear it herself, her mother cried with her when she heard the news, by then she was alone she couldn't believe that Henry left her, but she was comforted that the last words they said to each other was I love you.

        Sam couldn't tell anybody, she didn't have anybody to tell. As school got worse, she got worse too. She didn't know what to do or who to talk to. She was just lost. As the day as his funeral came up, she stopped going to school, she didn't know how she would walk into school without her breaking down, she didn't know how to live without her best friend, for the past year and a half he was her life. She planned the funeral with his parents, and she walked up the podium to talk about her best friend, she felt numb, she couldn't believe it was him in the casket. She only got through a paragraph before she burst out sobbing, many people reached out to comfort her, but she had to finish it, she had to do this for him, no matter how much it hurt her. As she finished her speech she saw everybody gaze up at her with tears in their eyes.

        As she was about to walk down from the podium, Henry's father asked her something that she would always remember. "You really loved him didn't you?"

        She took a second to recollect herself before she answered him. She gave him the only answer that seemed suitable. "More than life itself." After she spoke those words she could see the the emotions running through him, he walked up to the podium and collected her into a hug. He started sobbing up there with her, both grieving over loosing somebody they loved. The whole church watched them sob over Henry, the whole time she couldn't stop thinking about what she would do without him, she was alone. She missed him so much. Everything about him kept replaying in her mind, and she prayed to God that she would never forget a single aspect of him.