Life and its Challenges

~6~

APRIL

It's been almost two months since Jughead's funeral and every day I see his face in Forsythe. He's growing too fast for me to understand. I wouldn't have survived these months without FP. He have been here almost every day with my mom. They've seemed to have gotten closer. Which I feel is some sort of win in this whole misery. I've known for a long time that they've been having an affair but nothing really happened until mom got divorced a month ago. Which was yet another painful thing. Even though it was way easier than Jughead dying it still hurt me. I knew mom and dad didn't love each other they once had and I knew my mom loved FP more than dad. But it still hurt to see my dad move away.

I still haven't walked in to Jughead's workroom since he died. It smelled like him and it just made me overwhelmed. But as the sunlight falls on my tired face and the colorful smell of spring fills my lungs with hope I finally feel ready to enter his room. I slowly walk inside. The first thing I see is the brown cork board that hangs in front of his mahogany desk. The room is light and big and I sigh as the familiar smell of coffee and wood finds its way into my nose. On the cork board there's a picture of me and Jughead from our wedding. I smile as a single tear falls down my cheek. He was so happy that day.

"We're married." He whispered to me as he softly kissed my lips. Even though the dinner with our parents was a disaster this day would forever be my favorite day. I touched his raven hair and tried to put it back in place. He smiled. "Elizabeth Jones, you're so beautiful and I'm so lucky to call you mine." I let out a giggle and kissed him.
"I'm the lucky one." I whispered. Then I put my head on his bare, hairy chest. "I love you." I sighed. I sigh filled with so much joy and relief. We had made it. Nothing could ever bring us down.

My face is filled with tears as a look at the next picture. It was a picture of me and him in Hawaii, it was our first night there. We had a date and I was wearing that God awful dress. The one I loved so much. The pink one, with laces all over it. It was so beautiful. Until the day it was soaked in my unborn child's blood.

I had had these weird cramps all day but every second I told myself that it was nothing. Nothing important at least. But as I entered my house after a nice dinner with Veronica my entire body hurt. My stomach felt as if it was about to get ripped out of me. I screamed as I looked down and saw the blood streaming down my legs. I fell to the floor begging. Begging that it wouldn't be a miscarriage. Begging that I would survive. Begging that my baby would survive. Begging that I wouldn't survive.
"Betty. I'm home." A voice said and I breathed out. He was here. Everything would be alright. "What the hell?" His voice didn't bare with him and the last word was almost too quiet for me to hear.
"J...Jug." I said with more panic than I've ever had before. I knew I was going to lose the baby. And I think he knew it as well.

I shake my head as I try to forget the horrible day when we lost our first child. The next picture I see is a photo of Forsythe as a newborn. He was so small. He's grown so much since then. I smile. He really is the cutest baby. I just wish Jughead could've seen him grow.

Forsythe eating a lemon for the first time.
Forsythe taking his first steps.
Forsythe's first words.
Forsythe asking about his dad.
Forsythe going to school for the very first time.
Forsythe looking more and more like his dad.
Forsythe bringing home his first girlfriend.
Forsythe getting married.
Forsythe getting his first child.
Forsythe being fatherless.

I fall to the ground in pain. Jughead is never going to see Forsythe grow up. How could he just leave? He left me alone. And now everything hurts. I hide my face in my hands and cry. He really is gone.