maybe i just want to be yours {zion kuwonu}

~19~

my train of thought comes back and i quickly jump off of him. "sorry!" i squeak.

"no, it's okay. i really liked that, that being your second kiss after your first a couple hours ago, you're fucking amazing."

i can feel my face turning bright red. "thanks i guess," i say.

"um so do you want to finish that movie?" i ask avoiding any more "compliments" about how i kiss.

"do you actually want to finish that?"

"sort of, i want to see how it ends. also, we are  not going to include those rules."

"fine." he sighs.

i grab my lap top, open it, and press play. i should have never done this, but we already started it so we might as well end it. the amount of horror in this movie is ridiculous. i bite my lips go hopefully cut down the nervousness i have just watching this movie.

"NOPE!" i scream and press pause.

"hey, you wanted to finish it," he reminds me.

"i know, and that was a big mistake. but i don't care i am pushing through this one."

"suuureee," he sarcastically says.

once again, i press play. on the left of me there is a pillow and i am squeezing it to death. if it was an organism, i assure you it would be dead by now. i shut my eyes really tightly and zion notices and makes me open them. he himself might also be frightened, but i think after him being scarred by that other scene nothing can scare him now. i drop the pillow and i do not have anything to put pressure on. my hand accidentally comes in contact with his hand and i impulsively grab it. i can feel his eyes on me but i am too distracted my the movie that i do not even think to look at him back. but i can feel a sensation all over my body right when i held his hand. i swear, any type of interaction i have with zion, my body reacts. i have never felt the same with anybody else, not even brandon. the movie finally comes to an end and my hand is still locked with zion's.

i let go, "sorry, i needed to put pressure on something. hopefully i did not hurt you or anything."

"can you stop apologizing? you know that i like you. why would i be bothered by that type of stuff?" well he has a point.

"i don't know. maybe i don't want to look like a hypocrite after making you wait and telling you i do not fall into traps easily."

he stares directly into my eyes and says, "just know that you aren't."

before my feelings start jumping around and i do something impulsive i immediately say, "okay, i think it's time for bed!" i get up and jump onto lydia's bed.

"good night!" i exclaim.

"good night," he says back.

...

i wake up to a sleeping zion. i sit on my bed, where he is currently on and like before i stare at him. for some reason, my mind replays what happened last night. as i look at him i wonder what would happen if we end up being together. i am pretty certain that at 18 i am ready to be in a relationship. i think he will treat me right. he is showing me that he really wants me, and i want him too. however, i still have to consider brandon.

his eyes begin to open slowly. "good morning," i whisper.

"good morning. well this is a nice view to see right when i wake up in the morning." he smiles and lifts his head up to place a gentle kiss on my lips.

"as sweet as that was, we are not a couple. only couples do that." i remind him.

"yes, i know. you've been saying that over and over again. i'm just trying to convince you to be my girlfriend." why is he so good at this? i love it, but at the same time i hate it.

moments later i receive a text message from brandon.

brandon
are you down to hang out? i don't have any classes today. do you?

i do not have any classes either. sure, where do i meet you?

brandon
i'm already outside your dormitory. can i come up?

yea, my room number is 315. zion is up here by the way.

brandon
no problem, i'll see you in two.

"brandon is coming up," i say.

"does he know i'm up here with you?"

"yea."

"okay, 'cause i thought i was going to have to jump out the window or something."

"as i said we ar-"

he cuts me off, "we are not in a relationship so therefore, i do not have to hide anything."

i laugh. "wow you sounded just like me."

"yea i think i've been around you for long enough."

i hear a knock at my door and i open it. it is brandon, just who i expected. he immediately greets me with a rose and kiss on my cheek. i pay close attention on how my body reacts. i can feel tingles, but again, it is not as strong as when my body interacts with zion. then again, brandon and i have not kissed on the lips. i let him go all the way into my room and he sees zion.

he greets zion, "what's up man!"

"sup."

"oh shit! why are you here? did you guys hit it off or something? 'cause if that's the case i'm out," brandon says. dang, he's actually really respectful. i applaud that.

"oh no. it's way too early for that. zion and i just have movie nights together on tuesday's."

"oh cool. but you guys are trying to tell me nothing happened last night?" brandon says.

i look over to zion and i look back at brandon, "no, nothing except that zion's officially my first kiss."

"oh." brandon looks a bit sad in my eyes. now i feel bad, but if i was not singing that song i bet it would not have happened. but hey! everything happens for a reason.

"it's fine bro. we aren't a thing, she doesn't want to be a thing," zion says, looking at me.

"really?" brandon asks.

"really. you know what i am just going to come clean to the both of you. i think i have feelings for the both of you. i just want to see who i can be comfortable around and who i end up um... falling in love with," i say.

"i smell a competition." zion smirks.

"may the best man win," brandon says.

"um, no. i am not a trophy that you win. do not treat this like a game or i am never going to talk to either of you. i want you two to still be friends and still be normal around each other. and i do not want either of you doing extra things for me. deal?" i clarify.

"it's a deal," brandon says.

"zion?" i ask.

"deal."