I woke up the next morning hoping that yesterday was just a dream. I stumbled towards the bathroom, appalled by my reflection in the mirror. Then I noticed my shirt, bringing me to the sad realization that yesterday's events had really happened. I brushed my hair, pulling it up in a pony tail. Removing the shirt that record store boy, was his name Andrew or maybe Ashley, gave me and opening the washer lid. I threw it in with a pile of other clothes that had been sitting in my laundry basket for a week, adding the soap and pressing the start button. I headed towards the living room, noticing the plastic bag I had left on the coffee table. I pulled out the various records held in the bag removing the cover of one that I hadn't picked out. I set in my player, pressing the necessary buttons and then putting the needle in the groove. I waited for the song to began making my way to the kitchen to make myself breakfast.
"She..
She screams in silence
A sullen riot penetrating through her mind"
I hummed along to the tune, finding irony in the lyrics. I was also sorta impressed by record store boy's taste in music, although who doesn't like Green Day? I pulled my toast out of the toaster, spreading some jam on it before making my way back into the living room. I only glanced at my phone, not wanting to read the masses of text messages and calls I knew I had received. I didn't want anyone's sympathy. I was dying, but in reality everyone is. I just may die before my mother or friends from school, big deal. The first one to speak the words "taken too soon" at my funeral would get a swift kick from me, no matter if I was dead or alive. There is no too soon or too late, everyone goes at their designated time, simple as that. If my expiration was in six months, so be it. I know I may sound bitter or selfish, but when you've been through what I have there is no 'happily ever after'. The buzzer on the washer went off, I grumbled as I stood, moving the heavy pile of soaked clothes into the dryer. I turned it on, heading back to the living room once again. What a monotonous life I live.
-
I slipped on my vans and locked the door behind me, the clean tee shirt in hand. I had convinced myself I would give the kid his tee shirt and leave, simple as that. I didn't want or need to spend any unnecessary time away from my comfy couch. I walked down the three blocks watching my shoes hit the pavement. I reached the store in a short amount of time, pushing the door open. I walked towards the coffee counter where the dirty blonde boy stood leaning on the counter. He glanced upwards with a bored look on his face, which changed dramatically when his eyes met mine.
"Margo!'
He called with a beaming smile on his cheeks. I reached the counter, thankful for the small name tag pinned to his shirt.
"Ashton!"
I said, trying to mimic his enthusiasm. He laughed, stepping away from the counter and grabbing a cup. I watched him ,confused, as he started to make a coffee without another word to me. I realized that he probably could care less that I was standing right there.
"Here's your shirt."
I huffed, turning to leave the store. Ashton didn't even turn to look. I had just reached the door when Ashton yelled,catching me by surprise.
"Where are you going?"
He yelled over the loud coffee machine.
"Home."
I shouted, putting one foot out of the door.
"But I just finished your latte."
He announced, causing me to stop once again in the doorway.
"My what?"
I questioned, knowing for a fact that I hadn't ordered anything.
"Your latte."
He smiled, holding the cup up so I could see it.
"I didn't order a latte."
I stated, stepping back into the store, the bell on the door ringing as it closed behind me.
"I know, but I owe you one."
Ashton laughed, adjusting the beanie set on his head. I didn't want the latte. I wanted to go home and immerse myself in sadness, but there was something about Ashton's relentless kindness that nailed my shoes to the floor of the shop.
"You're not going to spill this one on me too, are you?"
I asked, cracking a smile, Ashton slid the coffee across the counter. I picked it up, gasping seconds after, pretending that I spilled it.
"You didn't-"
He laughed, his eyes wide in surprise.
"Nah, I'm not that clumsy."
I smiled, taking a sip of my scorching hot latte. I could feel the energy draining from my body as I stood in front of the counter. I spotted the chairs on a few feet away, wandering over and sitting down. Before I knew it, Ashton was out from behind the counter, sitting next to me in the most uncomfortable chairs in the world.
"I hate these chairs."
Ashton mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. I held in my laughter as he squirmed around like a restless five year old, trying to make himself comfortable.
"So, Margo,"
Ashton began, resting his legs on the arms of the chair.
"hows your coffee?"
He huffed, jumping up from the chair in defeat.
"Gross."
I said with a straight face, looking down at Ashton who was now sitting criss-cross on the floor.
"Really?"
He asked with puppy dog eyes. I broke into a smile, making him cross his arms.
"It's much better than yesterday."
I laughed, deciding to join Ashton on the floor, which was, by no surprise, much more comfortable than the chair.
"Great."
He smiled, I could feel the smile grow on my lips. As I sat on the floor with Ashton, discussing spilt coffee and his favourite bands I had almost forgotten about my ailment. I was brought back into the sad reality, realizing that I couldn't be friends with Ashton even if I wanted to.
"I have to go."
I stood from the ground, needing support from the chairs to stand fully.
"Stay, please?"
Ashton asked, a glimmer of something different in his eyes. I told myself over and over that I couldn't, I didn't want to hurt any more people than I had to.
"Listen, Ashton.You're a really nice kid and anyone would be lucky to be friends with you. The thing is, I'm dying."
I said, surprising myself with my brutal honesty. It was the first time that I had actually said it aloud, that I was dying. Hearing it in my own voice made it seem even more real. Ashton inhaled a deep breath before parting his lips.
"Aren't we all?"
He asked, leaving me at a loss for words.
-
song: she; green day
