Change to disclaimer: I censored their name because they were getting death threats. THIS BOOK IS COMPLETE
In my younger years, I accepted toxic manipulation and emotional abuse as normal and a sign of love. I've dealt with lying and manipulation al...
Hi! I feel that Ice Breakers are a thing that's needed before we go onto the deep,dark stuff that I've been mentally boiling down for a year or two now. I also apologize for the amount of gifs I use; I like to use them as visual representations of when I change the mood. I feel it's necessary for this chapter since I recently adopted PMA (A.K.A Positive Mental Attitude) as a guideline in my negative filled life; plus, this will get very depressing so let's get all the fun stuff out of the way so we dive in with a good mood, yeah? I won't use as many for the next chapters, I promise.
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I go by ThatOneParanoidKid on Wattpad but I also go by the psudonym of ParanoiaNAnxiety (recently retired) on my Smule and am going through a rebrand of Lily Cosmic for my Youtube, Quotev, and Soundcloud. But my real name is Liana, but most people call me Lily because they can't say my name (I don't blame them) which is where Lily C. comes from.
I'm a Writer, Musician, Singer, Artist, Gamer, Photographer, Journalist and recently Tech Guru due to my hard drive dying on me and me continuously trying to revive it during the whole summer. ( I also think I'm funny, too.)
My range of music tastes tend to go by Joji, to Marina and The Diamonds, to Eminem to Sleeping with Sirens; If anything I feel like music is more apart of me than Writing or Art. But of course that differed for me in the past; writing used to be my life.
In the present, I'm a 16 year old girl who loves animals and plants; I go to a public school and live in the suburbs. I make straight A's and high B's and play violin for school and money gigs. I have a part time job and I'm confident in myself and am happy with who I am today.
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In the past, I wasn't exactly healthy mentally; I wasn't in the right state of mind because I never really talked about my problems. I cared about everyone I loved and neglected myself and my own needs. I willingly took the blame for everything that went bad; even if it wasn't my fault.
This was around the time where I'm trying to find the confidence to stray away from my father (whom I'll talk about in the next chapter), and I didn't see my Step-Father as a positive father figure as I do now; I hated my step father because of the lies my Father fed to me when I was young. I was also having trouble with my mother at the and with my own self image around that time. I was just in a constant state of inner-discord. I was unhappy, depressed, anxious, and had no one to vent it to because I had the John Mulaney method of dealing with my problems.
