Love Shouldn't Hurt (My Personal Experience With Emotional Abuse)

The Truth

The phone rings on my bed, and the vibration from the incoming call almost pushes my phone off the bed. I sat there watching the screen light up in their name, unsure of what I should do. Why would they tell me not to answer their call, it is then who's calling right? The paranoia of the pictures not matching, of the weird behaviors, of the constant lies began to creep in. I had every right to be suspicious, after all everyone is entitled to feel anything and everything. But I just really wanted to trust them. I wanted to trust my best friend, I wanted to trust the love of my life. As I was paralyzed processing what happened the call is ignored, and a few minutes I get a voicemail.

"L-Liana, It's *redacted* i'm just really sick we need to talk"

The voice was deep and raspy, it sounded like a fifty year old whispering from the speaker that slithered into my very soul. I was utterly shocked and dropped the phone, because this voice did not belong, it was someone else's surely. I grew sick with anxiety, because I have never seen them on video, what if this was his actual voice? The technology for voice changers exists, and because I hadn't seen them besides his alleged photos, the possibility of them being a pedophilic geezer was more probable than a cute 17 year old boy.

I panicked as I received messages asking why I didn't answer. I sat on the floor since standing made me too dizzy because of the situation I realized I got myself in. As I receive texts from "*redacted*" asking to hear my voice all I could think was 'Thank God I'm considered a prude in this generation, and I didn't send any pictures that could be suggestive'. The questions as to why I didn't answer soon changed into questions to who I really am the longer I waited to say something. Then something brave or stupid clicked in my head that broke me from my anxious paralyzed trance , and drove me to text back this faux person.

"My name is Liana, and you don't sound like Simon" I typed and pressed send without even thinking of what I just said.

"You're sharp, I'm not *redacted*, also that's not their name, but I'm their father. I was just wondering if you're actually a girl around their age like they claim you are. I would like to hear your voice just so I know you aren't some 50 year old man with a motive"

Oh how ironic. But looking past the worried father front, I wondered, how does he have access to their phone, and who is this person? the other name the mentioned sounded familiar but it fell flat.

Confused, I text " I'm friends with a *redacted* not the other person, You're not *redacted*, and I can find out who you are."

It took a while for the dad to text back, but when he did I was rendered speechless in both the typing and physical way.

"Liana, *redacted* isn't who they say they are.... these two people are one in the same"

Then it hit me. Why the name was so damn familiar to me. Why it stuck a conscious chord within me . The name of the girl, the daughter of the father who i was texting with currently was the "Cousin" that *redacted* allegedly shared the YouTube channel with when I traced the original source of the cat video they posted on their book. At first I felt anger, then sadness because the love of my life has lied to me the whole time we've been together and I kept coming back. they played me like a fiddle and I was too blind to realize that. I was stupidly in love ready to forgive them for every little blunder or huge error, and because of that I forgave the lies, the alleged infidelity, the toxic obsession...

I retract that statement, I didn't forgive it: I ignored it. But I never condemned it. I always got emotional and broke up with them and somehow they had a rebound every time. I will admit once I did come crawling back because the first time I lost them I felt like I couldn't breath, I lost the most important person to me in my life, I lost the person who understood me the most , i thought, and I couldn't bear to not be at their side, and to have the absence of them saying "I love you". But the other times, they were the ones who came back to me, begging for forgiveness, begging to be taken back, and I compiled every time.

I guess I made it embarrassingly obvious that I would take all of their BS and I was stupidly dependent on them that they made it a habit to break my heart every week, because they knew I wouldn't say shit. And if I did? I would forgive them and take them back in a heartbeat. And that's what happened over and over until thier Pop texted me. Now looking at it I'm mad that I was an idiot when it came to obvious signs that they were not who they said they were. On my birthday trip to Kemah, they confessed to their alleged infidelity that morning in which they were "fingered in the bathroom". When I had my period they not only sympathized but they empathized. they even got horny on certain days of the month which I would realize attribute to their period schedule.

After temporarily getting over my emotions I agreed to talk with their father. He interrogated me about my relationship with their daughter. How do you know them (On wattpad, we are both artist and authors), how old are you ( 17 [I lied, i think was 14-16, don't do what I did]), are you good friends with my daughter (Yes really REALLY good friends with her). their old man then concluded I was a satisfactory friend and not a fifty year old predator. After the interrogation he then had to ask two very important questions.

"You threatened to seek out my actual identity can you actually do that or were you joking?"

"My dad's a cop and I have too much time on my hands, I wasn't joking and I have the resources"

"O-Oh OK... and you also called my daughter *redacted* , Tell me why did you call her that name?"

"Because that's who they claimed to be the whole time we've dated"

"I see... so she did it again"

"Wait .. AGAIN?!?!"

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Hello Author here, I apologize for the Short chapter but I've been itching to write again and sat down today after I don't know how long since I've written part 5-6. I've been really busy and this is the first time since that I've gotten to type my mind since I'm now officially a Senior at High school with lots of commitments  to my education and capitalist pursuits this summer. And I mean capitalist as in I'm taking a trip to Costa Rica with my Law Enforcement class that I'm paying for all by myself and If I fall farther behind in payments I will be in debt at 17 and I don't need to be in debt before student loans, ya dig?  So my interaction here is fairly limited please forgive me and I don't know when I can post the next part. But disregarding that, I am grateful for the experience of writing this and of using this hurt to meld it into something productive and I'm positive the next chapter will be the last so i can finally put my demons to rest.