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Chapter Four- Surprise One and Two

"Dad, mom," I look between them, not feeling ready to tell them, but pushing on," there's something you need to know about Tristan."

...

Mom is wrapped in dad's arms, sitting on his lap. They calm each other with the contact, but Dad has an expression on his face full of so much resentment, it has Blake and I cowering. I shift on the couch, uncomfortable. Dad catches my movement, narrowing his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell us this before?" It's not a question.

"I did't want anyone to know." I look down, pressure building behind my eyes again. Dad sets mom down in his place on the chair and kneels down in front of me. If this were anyone else, dad would not be kneeling, but he lifts my chin. I don't look directly at him.

"Look at me." He says softly.

I do, and see the same dull blonde hair and crystal blue eyes staring at me like a mirror. We reflect each other's appearance exactly, except for the fact that he's muscular and tall while I'm short and flabby. I still can't be mistaken for anyone else's daughter. The same goes for Bonnie. She's a skinny, mini dad. Blake and Tyler take after mom's looks. Their hair a muddy brown and skin sun kissed, eyes a chocolate brown. 

"Do not be ashamed. He should be ashamed." His voice is lower than it normally is, and after he gives me a gentle, but reassuring hug, he storms out of the house. 

They don't understand. I didn't want people not to know because I'm ashamed. It's because mate will know. I'm supposed to wait for my mate and the mating process, but now I don't have a chance. I'm already fat, and who wants a fat, impure mate? No one... maybe I am ashamed.

Normally my wolf tells me something encouraging when my mind comes to this point, but she doesn't say anything and my mood droops lower. 

Mom is shaking a little and Blake holds her, mouthing for me to go to bed. I nod, not trusting my voice. Taking the stairs two at a time, I don't bother to change before dropping into bed, burrowing under the covers. I shed a few tears, ready for sleep to take me, but scared of what is waiting for me on the other side. A pain like no-other sets in my stomach. Loneliness, self-loathing. Maybe hunger, but it's the last thing I feel before falling into a troubled sleep. 

***

I wake up from the usual nightmares, hurling my guts up in my bathroom toilet, barely making it this time. I try to be quiet, but Blake bursts through my door, eyes wild and clothes a messy array. He rushes over to me, holding my hair back. When I'm finally done, he really looks at me. I didn't take my make-up off last night, but it most likely rubbed off on my pillows. Meaning he can see the dark circles under my eyes, also smelling the sweat and throw up on me. He kisses my forehead anyway.

"Everything will be better now that we know. We'll make sure he pays." I nod, asking him to leave so I can take a shower. He does so, closing my door. I strip down and do my usual routine. Although today, there is a new, small spark of hope blooming in my chest. 

Maybe he's right. Maybe everything will get better now. Maybe mate will be understanding...

I like the thought, but my lips turn down, knowing that my mate would probably not be understanding. The mate bond is supposed to be strong and males get super protective, so smelling another on me wouldn't go so well. 

'Just wait Jessa, Blake's right.' My wolf says it like she knows something I don't, and I get a little annoyed.

'Why have you been so quiet? Why havent you been talking to me?' I ask. 'I need you.'