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Chapter Five- What is it?

My struggling is getting weaker and I feel as if my body is lead, being pulled down. A voice whispers something in my ear, but I can't hear it properly. All I hear is the sound of ocean waves, lulling me to sleep... or maybe it was someone shushing me. The very last thing I remember is a face. His face.
Then darkness takes over.

...

I jerk awake, the car slowing to a halt in the gravel driveway. The house towers over me, blending in with the tall trees around it. The wooden logs are dark, and the large windows a little dusty, but the cottage looks good. I hold my pillow to my chest and sling my purse over my shoulder, pulling the door open and stepping out into the lively forest.

Birds chirp and fly to each other, racing overhead in the green trees as small critters scuttle through the undergrowth at our predatory arrival. My uneasy sleep has my adrenaline pumping and Blake looks at me funny, giving me a questioning glance. I hold tight to my pillow, trying to calm my nerves down and take in the scenery instead. My breathing evens as I take deep breaths of pine scented trees, and the musty, old earth smell. 

My wolf get's excited as she takes everything in, and tries to shift, but I press her back, wanting to put my stuff in my room first. After making sure I got my duffel bag from the trunk along with my purse and pillow, I make my way towards the front door. On the first step to the porch, the wood creaks like a hello, and old, happy memories come rushing to me. 

***

Blake and I are racing from the car, into the cottage. Our feet pound the stairs as we scramble through the vast living room and up two flights of stairs to the play room. I can see the back of my older brother's head as he shifts and takes off, shutting the play room door right as I get to it. 

"No fair," I whine, "You cheated! You just had your first shift and I have to wait a whole 'nother year 'til I get to shift." 

Blake's muffled voice projects through the door, taunting me. 

"You're just mad that you didn't get here first. Besides, I always let you have the playroom first. But this year I'm gonna make it my man cave!" 

I stomp my little feet and fold my arms angrily over my chest, before sitting on the floor. 

"Blake! It's supposed to be for all of us. Not just you! You can't make it your man cave...you're not even a man!" I smirk, knowing that that'll get him to come out. 

Just like I knew, his eyes peek out from the cracked door.

"You don't think I'm a man?" He asks me.

I scoff. "Maybe in your dreams."

Before I know what's happening, I'm yanked into the room and Blake's running past me, grinning as he shouts over his shoulder, "Last one to the pond has to do the dishes!"

And again, our feet pound down the stairs, our small agile bodies weaving around furniture and laughing parents. 

***

I wish my life was like that now. Easy, fun. But it's not.

I snap out of my thoughts and walk through the living room that once seemed so big to me. With the L shaped couch and the big fireplace, it doesn't seem as grand anymore, but it feels like home.

I can relax here. Tristan is dead- I hope- and no one even knows where the cottage is. The tense muscles in my shoulders release and I take big, deep breath, letting it out gustily. I smile, feeling a little lighter and a happier, letting go of all the things that haunt me for a few hours.