Marvel Oneshots

Ao3 | Stucky | Hold Your Fire

This was untitled, so I created a name

Chapter Text

He was my mission. That's all that mattered. He was begging, pleading, but I wasn't listening. I didn't care. I assumed he was pleading for his life, most people begged for mercy, but mercy was never given. HYDRA didn't do mercy. I pinned him to the ground and then I heard him say, "Bucky, please." He continued speaking, but I stopped listening. The name 'Bucky' echoed round and round in my head. The name seemed familiar, but I couldn't pin it to a face. That was also the first time I looked at his face properly. He had bruises all over his face; one of his eyes was swollen and his nose was broken and bloody, but he looked familiar. His blonde hair was matted with blood, and his lip had been cut, but I'd seen him somewhere before. I knew him. I knew I was faltering, I couldn't afford for that to happen. HYDRA would never forgive me. I pulled back my metal arm and pummeled him. My fist collided with his cheek, his jaw, his eye, his nose and his ribs. I heard him groan, and that's when I stopped. Something was weird.

He wasn't fighting back. That was it; he wasn't fighting back. He covered his face with his arms, but refused to throw a single punch. He was capable of hurting me, possibly even capable of beating me, but he refused. Why? Why would someone refuse to participate in a fight they could win? Who was he and why was he so familiar? I looked back at him and noticed he was trying to speak.
"I'm with you...till the end...of the line..." he groaned.
Something happened to me when he said that. All the Hail HYDRA's and the brainwashing and the violence melted away to leave...me. I was myself again, but I didn't know who I was. The blonde man had called me "Bucky", maybe that was my name. Maybe I did know him. No, I definitely knew him. He was...he was...he...he was gone. They took him from me. They took all of him, every last piece. I looked down at him again. He had the bright shine of hope in his eyes and...love? He cared about me, that was obvious from the look on his face. I must have cared about him too.

He meant something to me; I cared about him. They reached inside my brain and took away someone I cared about. They took all my memories of him; they even took his name! I wanted to remember him; I really wanted to. I tried so hard to find him, to remember who he was but there was nothing there. He wasn't there anymore. They stole him from me; they stole everything from me. I cursed HYDRA for taking my life away from me and leaving me with nothing. I was nothing but a soldier, with no ties to the outside world. Maybe if I could make a tie, just one. One link to the outside world could stop them from taking me again. Or maybe they'd cut that tie too, the way they did with all the others. I had nothing to lose, so I decided to try.

The blonde man was unconscious, but I stared at him and tried to imagine what he would look like if I hadn't broken him. That's when it hit me that I was the person who caused the injuries that were scattered all over his face. I was a monster, and I would always be a monster. I caused pain wherever I went, I always would. I tried to shake the negative thoughts away, but they crept in from all sides. They washed over me like a wave and I couldn't escape them. In the end, the only thing I could do was scream. I screamed, but my screams instantly turned into tears. I began to sob. I'd never felt so pathetic, but I had no idea who I was. I didn't recognize anyone. HYDRA had reached inside my brain, taken me out and shoved someone else in. They took away everything I cared about and I wanted it back.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked back at the unconscious blonde man. I tried imagining him with bruises or blood on his face, but I still had no idea. I stared at him for a while, and something flashed into my mind. It wasn't much, just the letter S. Maybe his name began with the letter S? I tried thinking of names that began with the letter S.
Samuel?
Scott?
Steven?
Steven sounded familiar, but it didn't seem quite right. Maybe Steve? I looked at the man again, and something just clicked. He was Steve, and I was...Bucky, I guess. I smiled at him and whispered, "Goodbye, Steve."

"Bucky?" I heard him groan.
"I think so," I replied, turning to face him.
"You came back to me," he smiled.
"You brought me back, so thank you," I said.
"Do you recognize me?" he asked.
"Steve, right?" I questioned.
"Yeah, that's me. We were best friends."
"They took everything away from me. They took you away from me, the memories aren't there anymore. I'm trying to remember, but it's just not there. I'm really sorry, Steve," I cried.
"It's okay, Bucky. You're safe now," he assured me as he held me close to his chest. I don't know how long I was with HYDRA, but this was the first time I felt completely protected since they got me.