⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️
Mentions of-
*Self harm
*Anxiety
*Starvation
Play song
Josh's POV
*FLASHBACK*
I went to a party last night. And I met one of the cutest boys I've ever laid his eyes on. He said his name was Tyler. I gave him my number, but I was drunk. I woke up to see a text from him. I didn't save his contact so I didn't know who it was. He was really cute though, I think. Shit. He's letting me take him on a date tomorrow. Fuckfuckfuck. What if he doesn't like me? What if he's just going to mess with my heart? What if he doesn't actually care about me? I really think I'm in love with Tyler. And I've only met him once. But his eyes, those doe eyes. Oh and those cheeks. Those cheeks that would darken ten shades deeper whenever I called him "sweetheart."
Today I'm taking Tyler on a date, and honestly I'm not ready. I'm really not. Last time I was in a relationship, they caused so much pain. I started to believe love was fake. "Don't fuck this one up, Josh."
*END OF FLASHBACK*
I fucked this one up.
I fucked up bad.
And my mother always told me to call boys "sweetheart."
But what Tyler's mother had always said
"Never trust a pretty boy who calls you sweetheart. Something bad always happens."
Something bad happened.
She was right.
I fucked up.
I glance over into the bathroom. I frantically search the bathroom for something to get my mind to stop racing. My razor. But I remember, I flushed it down the toilet when Tyler was sent to the hospital. I see my shaver, and I pretty much slam it into the bathroom counter until I can get one of blades to come out. I slice up my ankle, each time I cut I'd say "you fucked up."
0 days clean.
I fucked up.
A/N- ok so I was inspired by some other writer but I don't remember their @. I think the fic was called Afraid or something like that. But anYwAys. I'll credit down here if I can find it.
Ok so their @ is @plantjosh They're vv talented! Go check their writing out.
