Trying again ✔️ (Natsu x Reader)

Learning to move on

What's harder? Learning to forgive? Learning to forget? Moving on?

I've been with natsu at his place for a week now. My apartment was already rented to someone else so I couldn't go back there. It was nice being with him so much. We helped calm each other down and we learned what we did wrong. We learned how to better handle things. Most importantly we learned to care about each other and we learned to love. We didn't ask for it to happen. It just did.

Once we realized how much we cared for each other everything kinda fell into place. Amazing how much can happen in a week huh? It was easy since I wasn't allowed to go back to work until I was better and natsu was basically my doctor and caregiver and my medicine. It may sound funny it but it's amazing the effect a warm hug and kind words can have on a person. After a week I was improving greatly.

People could see it. I could smile again and I didn't look so gloomy. After two weeks it's like I was a completely different person. I was allowed to go back to work and I learned to laugh again. Mira couldn't wait to tease me about how a daily dose of natsu was great medicine for me. Of course it made me blush but it was true. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I'm actually loving every day. And if for some reason I get a episode while I'm at the guild, be it a flashback or whatever everyone knows to get natsu and I'll be ok after a while.

One day while at work I was having a really bad episode and he wasn't working that well as medicine. Mira gave him a look and he got a big grin on his face. He then kissed me and I blushed and started smiling. This caused them to chuckle like little kids and Mira called it a "instant cure." It soon became a habit for him to randomly kiss me to help me "stay well."

I welcomed it but I started to feel like it was a inconvenience for him. We talked about it on the way home. He was really surprised and happy that instead of letting it get to me I was able to express myself and talk about it. He reassured me it wasn't a inconvenience and I actually felt good about myself. The more time we spent together the more I liked him. I stopped noticing all the bad in my life and started noticing the good. I started noticing him. The way he was so happy and carefree and how he acted like a child.

He was so sweet and innocent that I can't help but smile. Smile. His smile is completely contagious to me. Sometimes that's all he has to do is smile and then I start smiling like a idiot. It's nice to be loved. Wait. Does he love you? Does he even like you like that? What if he's just doing this because he feels he has to? There goes my doubts in my brain again. Back at full force.

He notices my sudden change in mood at these thoughts and comes right over to give me a hug and a kiss. He only ever kisses me on the cheeks but that's usually all it takes to make me feel better. This time it wasn't enough. I give him a weak smile and say thanks.

He asks me what's wrong and I told him I'll talk to him on the way home and tell him about it. He agrees and I go back to work. I don't smile but I don't frown either. I'm just straight faced. The thoughts staying in the back of my brain all day.
That night on the way home we talk. I'm scared. I don't know if I want the answer.

"So what's on your mind? Why were you suddenly sad earlier?" He asks me. I can tell he's concerned.

"I...it's....I don't know how to explain it." I try to speak. I take a deep breath. "Natsu. How do you feel about me? Do you like me? I don't mean as a friend either. I mean. I feel like your only doing this because you have to. When you started to kiss me to help me feel better I can't help but feel like you only do it so I don't fall backwards into depression again. I can't believe I'm saying it. But I've grown to love you natsu. Even though I swore to myself I wouldn't fall in love ever again. Here I am. I'm hoping for the best but bracing myself for the worst." I let my words flow freely and felt my heart pounding the whole time both in fear and anticipation.