Dipsomaniac

Chapter 8- The Scientist

|Chapter 8|*The Scientist*|

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you, tell you I need you

Tell you I'll set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions

Oh let's go back to the start

The Scientist- Coldplay (Glee Version)

James P.O.V

I don’t know what made me do it.

I don’t know why I did it.

All I know is she smells sweet like honey and lavender and her body fits perfectly in mine even though her hands lay against her sides. And I’m squeezing her tightly, holding onto her before I lose her. Because in the span of time that I have come to know her, I have realized a few things.

Arielle isn’t oblivious to her surroundings, she knows the difference between the reality and dreams, she’s insanely caring and generous and she’s willing to help others before herself.

She is however, vulnerable yet guarded and closed-off but she has substance. She’s not like the girls who speak about manicures and the hottest guys and the make-up. She’s more than that, she cares about people, hell she even cares about me and I don’t consider myself a human.

So maybe that’s why I’m hugging her because I don’t want to let go of something so good, so rare that it’s a gem to find.

I’m standing here hugging her and it reminds of my childhood how I used to run to the doors as soon as my father came home from work. How I used to grab his leg and hold on to it so tightly because I missed him so much. How my hands were the size of an ant and his the size of a dinosaur as he used to pick me up and spin me in a circle before placing a kiss against my cheek and heading towards the kitchen where my mom was cooking.

Arielle’s hug reminds of a stainless childhood, one that was pure and innocent.

Arielle though, she gives me hope that things can change.

That I can change and become the person my mother would want me to become.

And suddenly I realize I want to keep her.

She’s the one who can keep me sane and she’s the one who can help me become a better person.

And all these thoughts are rushing through my head though her hands remain glued against her side while I’m hugging her. And I finally realize that I have tainted her with my ugliness. And I want to reverse it, I want to apologize, I want to be the person she needs, the person she can run to anytime she wants.

I want that, more than anything I want that.

I want her to wrap her arms around me when I hug her.

I unravel my arms from around her and hold her hands tightly in mine. It’s not the Tylenol talking it’s me as I finally say the words on the tip of my tongue.

“I’m, I’m sorry Arielle.” I mumbled out in front of her, “I’m so sorry for what I have done to you. For breaking my promise at the party, for yelling at you, for touching you without your permission. I’m sorry for tainting you with my ugliness. I’m sorry I’m so fucking sorry. Please tell me you’ll give me a second chance, a chance to become your friend.”