Everything happens for a reason

Everything happens for a reason 17

Chapter 17: Insanity

Josh's point of view.

My mind was in overdrive, sending me crazy. The past two weeks had been hell, I couldn't find much to push me forward, to try and find her.

I hadn't been thinking when I'd up and left that morning. I'd just had my mind set on one thing; finding Ellie, and as I said, I didn't think that maybe as a big group we had more chance at finding her and getting her back. But then again, I hadn't been found, by anyone.

Although I doubt Ellie would have known I wasn't there with them. My mind had gone into panic mode and just acted on impulse.

I think I've gone insane. I've been talking to myself lately more and more. I sit there and discuss things with myself, I pretend I'm someone else and my mind is me and I'll say something in my mind and then say something out loud for the other person.

I swear, if they found me now I wouldn't care if they teased me, I wouldn't care if they teased me about it for the rest of my life, right now I needed to be found, or at least find someone! Even my iPod, which I had brought with me, was no use now, because by now the battery would be dead, and stupid me had dropped it at one of my campsites about a week ago.

I sat down on the grass and looked at the river. Well at least I'd found it yesterday. I had run out of water and for two days, I didn't have anything to drink.

I had decided that since I was near the river it would be safe to walk up and down stream finding camps each night in different places.

They would have found the river, and known that we would all need it. It was the only source of water in these mountains.

If they were thinking, then they would all stay close to the river and so by walking up and down it each day I should be able to find them soon.

I remember a week ago I had found a spot in the river where there was like a cave made of rock, it had two sides, a back, and a top.

So, you had quite a bit of shelter from anyone who just happened to be passing by. Which, after I thought about it later that day, standing in that spot for half the day enjoying the water wasn't the best decision, because someone could have walked past and I wouldn't have noticed at all.

Also, I was almost positive that that was the spot I'd lost my iPod.

The sun was setting so I grabbed my pack and started setting up the tent I had taken with me.

I usually stayed in the same spot for two nights because I couldn't be bothered packing up my tent the morning after I set it up.

It got very frustrating, especially when I was absolutely terrible at putting one up. Once I had set up the tent and settled everything inside, I pulled out some bread and the jar of nutella I had with me. I chomped on the bread, starving.

After the first week I had made myself eat one meal a day because I didn't know how long I had to make one and a half loaves of bread and a jar of nutella last. So far it has been a good thing that I eat only one meal a day, because at the rate I'm going I'm going to run out of food anyway.

I'm not an expert on plants so I have no idea if any of the berries I keep passing are edible, and I'm not taking the risk of eating one to find out whether it will kill me or not. No thank you. I think I'd rather get out of this and grow old with Ellie before I have to die, and there is no way I'm letting myself die until I find her.

I don't care if the others find me first with no food, I'll just live on water and scream all day long till she hears me and finds me.

After eating the bread, I decided I didn't want any nutella today, so I put it back into my pack and settled down in my sleeping bag for yet another crappy nights sleep. I hadn't been able to sleep properly since the night before Ellie got lost.

I either lay awake all night thinking about her, wishing she was next to me or sleeping so lightly that even the slightest gust of wind would wake me.

It was getting too much for me; I needed to find her. I needed to hold her. I needed to fell the warmth radiate off her as I hold her close in my arms. I need her.

Here, with me. I am never going to let her go. I swear, when I find her, I'm never letting her go and once we've finished high school, I'm going to ask her to marry me, so I can spend forever with her. So I know I can spend forever looking after her and making sure nothing hurts her again.

I fell asleep for the first time since I left the others, dreaming of Ellie and the look on her face the day I ask her, whether she will expect it or not. Whether she will say yes. Exactly what day I was going to do it.

By the time I woke up in the morning I had it all planned, I would ask her right after we graduate, that same day, and she will be so happy, she will wrap her arms around me and say yes, and I'll be so happy I'll be speechless.

I was so happy; I don't think I've even smiled the whole time I've gotten myself lost.

This would have to be the first time I'd gotten sleep, the first time I'd smiled and maybe, just maybe, my luck will keep coming, maybe today will be the day I find someone, anyone, I wouldn't care right now if it was the boogey monster, at least he knows how to speak, right?

He does know how to speak right? I sure hope so, because I don't want him here unless he can speak.

"Wow, you sound crazy dude." I said to myself.

'Yeah, tell me about it.' I thought.

"Your head is so messed up. I mean come on; the boogey monster can so talk. Haven't you heard the stories? He talks!"

'I said. Yeah, well, fine, your right. Only about the second part though. I'm not messed up!' I thought.

"Sure your not. That's why you're talking to yourself right now." I taunted myself.

'Yeah, well maybe I'm just bored out of my brains and there's nothing else to do. Now stop ruining my beautiful day and help me by telling me how to pack up this damned tent!' I thought.

"Fine, be that way." I said.

'So, you're not going to help me?' I thought.

"No." I said.

'Fine.' I thought.

After what seemed like forever, I had pulled down the tent and set off. It wasn't long after midday that I saw someone.

Wait, what! A person! But they weren't walking around, they weren't sitting down, they were lying on the ground, as if they had just fallen there.

It looked like someone who had been standing, died, and fell to the ground right there and as I crept closer guess who it was.

I felt my heart stop. I swear it skipped a beat, I was happy and sad, I was excited and depressed, it felt like I was alive and dead at the same time.

Maybe, obviously, my luck had run out when I started talking to myself earlier this morning.

Suddenly I was angry, angry at everything. Especially myself for this morning, maybe if I hadn't talked to myself then I wouldn't have run out of luck.

It was clear, exactly when my luck had run out as I stared at the person lying on the ground at me feet.

I felt a tear run down my cheek followed closely by tones more.