Friends?

4

"LOOK GENEVA I CAN'T JUST BE THERE EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF EVERY SINGLE DAY, ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU GOT JUMPED!" Jahseh screams which startles me awake.

I walk outside of his room and hear him talking in a different room to someone.

"YES IT IS, YOU COULDA STOPPED IT BUT YOU WERE PROBABLY HERE FUCKING A RANDOM HOE!" I hear a voice that sounds like Geneva's yell.

"DON'T YOU ACCUSE ME OF THAT SHIT! YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M DONE!" Jahseh yells.

"Baby no, please don't break up with me," Geneva pleads.

"Get the fuck out," Jahseh commands.

"Baby we can work this out," Geneva says.

"I said get out," Jahseh says in a low tone.

"Ba-"

"GET OUT BEFORE I MAKE YOU!" Jahseh screams.

"You'll regret this," Geneva threatens before walking out and slamming the door.

"Jahseh?" I ask.

"Yeah?" He asks while lying glumly on the couch.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. She was a hoe anyways," he said.

He reaches his arms out motioning for me to come over to him. I lay down on top of him putting my head on his chest. He puts his arms around my waist and rubs my back.

   "Do you think that I'll ever find love?" Jahseh says out of nowhere.

   "Of course, why wouldn't you?" I ask.

"I feel like I can't be loved, I feel like part of myself can't let me be loved either. Once I loved someone so damn much that I would just want her to leave me alone because I didn't want to hurt her, but now she's hurt. I could've stopped it, I could have made sure that she didn't get jumped. I always had such a hard time believing that Geneva loved me or that anyone actually loved me," he says. "Some times I just can't except that people love me, I literally don't know how to be loved," he finishes.

"Jah, you know people love you. I love you. You just have to let people love you. When you love someone or someone loves you someone is always going to get hurt no matter what but that doesn't mean that they would stop loving you. You hurt me when you didn't even try to stop me from leaving but I still love you," I say. "Anybody would be happy to be loved by you," I reassure him.

"I think I'm just going to end up alone, like not even on some funny shit I'm going to end up alone. Eventually I'm going to accidentally push everyone I love away because I'm afraid of loving them and I'm afraid of being loved," he says while looking me in my eyes.

"No you won't. And no matter how much you try to make me stop, I will never stop loving you. As long as I'm alive I will not let you end up alone," I say now locking my eyes with his.

We hold each other's gaze for a few seconds longer and the space in between us slowly get smaller and smaller until his lips meet mine. The kiss last for a few seconds until we break away.

"Sorry," I say out of embarrassment.

I get up only to be pulled back down. Jahseh grabs my face and puts his lips to mine. After realizing what's happening I begin to kiss back. We pull apart and look into each other's eyes.

"Um..." Jahseh says clearing his throat afterwords.

"Yeah..." I say awkwardly and avert my gaze from him. I get up from the couch and walk into the guest room.

I sit in my room pondering about what just happened and asking myself why I liked it. Oh shit. My feelings are back. Actually...they never left.

"Rosie," I hear Aiden say through the door.

I get up from the bed and open the door to see Aiden.

"What's up?" I ask smiling.

"Can you help me put my Mac and cheese in the microwave, I can't reach?" He asks making me giggle.

"Sure. Where's your brother though?" I ask wondering why he didn't have Jahseh help him.

"He's on the couch. I asked him to help me but he said no, I think he's mad," Aiden says.

I roll my eyes when he said that Jahseh said no. I follow Aiden into the kitchen and put his food into the microwave. All of a sudden I feel Aiden jump on my back which is normal since he's basically my little brother since I'm over here most of the time. I laugh and start tickling him. He giggles making me smile even bigger. I turn around to face the microwave with Aiden still on my back only to see Jahseh standing in the door way with a small smile on his face.

"You stealing my brother Velasquez?" Jahseh jokes.

"Yup, he loves me more now," I say laughing. "Isn't that right Aiden?" I ask laughing.

"Yup," Aiden says smiling.

"Wow, you really replaced me Aiden," Jahseh says putting his hand over his heart and faking a hurt look.

Aiden nods while giggling. I put him down as the microwave beeps signaling that the food is done. I take Aiden's food out of the microwave and put it on the table. Aiden thanks me and starts eating and Jahseh walks up next to me.

"We need to talk," Jahseh says.

My stomach flips and I feel sick out of nervousness when I hear those words leave his mouth.

"Um, ok," I say.

He grabs my arm and leads me into the living room. We sit down on the couch and sit in silence for a few seconds. I sit there looking down at my hands not wanting to face him.

"So this shit meant nothing to both of us right?" He asks.

    I could practically hear my heart shatter. I have liked Jahseh since I was 12, I'm 17 now. At first I started dating Trey in hopes that I would get over Jahseh but then I fell in love with Trey but I didn't love him anywhere near as much as I loved Jahseh. I would die for Jah at anytime in any situation with no questions asked. I love him so damn much and I think those words just killed a part of me. I feel a part of me dying inside. It felt like my heart was slowly being  torn apart, it felt almost torturous. My throat feels like it's being repeatedly stabbed and my eyes begin to cloud up.

   "Yeah... just a mistake," I say trying to hold in my tears. I bite my lip while looking away almost giving in to the urge of crying.

  "I gotta go," I say while hurriedly walking away.

  I get out of his line of sight and let the first tear of many run down my face. I clasp my hand over mouth making my sobs inaudible.

   I look at my phone and dial the number on the tiny slip of paper.

The person almost immediately picks up. I take a shaky breath before talking, "Hey can we talk?"