Friends?

8

My eyes open to see Jahseh staring back at me.

"What ha-" before I could finish asking my question everything came flooding back into my mind.

I sit and stare blankly at the floor not knowing how to feel.

I get off of the bed and walk into the kitchen with Jahseh following me. I grab a bottle of water and start chugging it but that wasn't enough. I quickly open a cabinet and pull out a bottle of tequila only to have it snatched away from me the second I open it.

"Give it back," I demand in a low tone.

"You're only 17 you can't dri-"

"Give it back to her Jahseh, she needs it," Cleo says siding with me.

He hesitantly hands over the bottle. As soon as the bottle reaches my finger tips I bring it straight up to my lips and chug it. The liquor burns my throat making me cough. I take another sip of the liquid before walking off to my room.

"Don't drink all of that Rose," Jahseh says sternly.

"Awe that's cute, you think you're my father," I say and sarcastically laugh. "Don't worry dad, I won't drink all of it, I'll just drink some whiskey too," I say teasing him making him mad.

"Rose stop fucking around," Jahseh says while trying to take the liquor away from me again.

I quickly jerk the bottle away from him and smirk.

"Ah ah ah, what did your mother say," I slur while shaking my finger at him.

"Are you already fucking drunk?" He says sounding annoyed.

"I always have been a lightweight," I say giggling.

"What do you mean, you've never had a drink in your life," he says confused.

"Shit got tough, you weren't there, and Mom had a liquor cabinet," I say shrugging. "Now either leave me alone or join me," I say while holding up the bottle to him.

"I'll wait until reality hits you, but enjoy being fucked up," he says sarcastically while walking out.

I turn on the TV and put on the news.

"The new found survivors of the crash have now been identified as Alex Williams, JJ Rane, Harrison Jennings, and James White. All other victims of the crash have been accounted for and unfortunately have all been pronounced dead at the seen of the crash," None of the names called were my mom's. My mom is truly dead.

I turn off the TV and stare up into the darkness filling my room. After a few minutes I get up and pick up my keys. I start to open the front door only to be interrupted by a voice.

"What are you doing?" Jah asks.

"I gotta get something from my house," I reply.

"You just drank a shit ton of tequila, no the fuck you're not," he argues.

"Fine you drive me," I say annoyed and roughly push the keys onto his chest.

"You don't have to get mad, I'm tryna make sure you don't fucking crash," he says.

"Cool," I say nonchalantly knowing that it'll piss him off.

We get in the car and he starts driving. We're both silent the entire car ride.

We reach my house and I open the door and walk in with the comforting smell hitting my nose.

I walk slowly up the stairs staring at all of the pictures on the wall.

I walk into my room which was just like how I left it. I bend down and pull out a drawer filled with family videos. I look at one of the titles,12/25/98, my first Christmas. That was the only tape with my dad in it, he died two weeks later in a car accident.

I grab a few tapes and turn around only to bump into Jahseh's chest.

"Sorry," I mumble.

  I keep walking and walk into my mom's room. I walk into her bathroom where her jewelry box is. She told me that when I turn eighteen that she wants to give me a certain necklace she had, now she can't. She won't even be here to see me when I turn eighteen, get married, have a baby, be a mother, she won't see me grow up at all because now she's gone.

  I feel my throat tightening and a tear slips from my eye. I open her jewelry box and grab the necklace. I let out a small sob as I run my fingers over the necklace. I place the necklace around my neck and look into the mirror. I've never realized how much I looked like my mother until now. Staring into my own eyes when I look into the mirror is just like staring into my mom's. It's kind of haunting now. I can't ignore the similarities between me and my mother now. I see so much of my mother in me and it makes me sick. I don't want to look just like my mom and be told I remind someone of my mom when I could never live up to the person she is, or was. She was so caring, optimistic, and outgoing. I'm the exact opposite, I am caring but she's on a different level of caring, she could never pass anyone in need without helping. She was optimistic and trusting where as I can't be promised anything without feeling as if the person promising me something is full of shit. She would do anything she puts her mind to and she could talk to anyone like she knew them for years but I can barely greet someone without feeling awkward and anxious and I'm too scared to do anything I want.

  I let out a sob and cover my face. I feel myself being pulled into Jahseh's chest.

  "I ruined her," I say with tears streaming down my face.

  "What do you mean?" He asks.

  "The girl that my mom created. She once asked me where the old me went, the little five year old who was happy with everything. The truth is, I hurt that little girl. I filled her head with insecurities, with depression, with anxiety and she died, the old me died. Now I'm a wreck of a creation and the only person I have to blame for it is myself," I stress while sobbing to the point of hyperventilating.

  "What do you mean? Just because you're depressed doesn't mean that you ruined your life. You're still a beautiful person. You're caring, beautiful, funny, and smart," He says while making me make eye contact with him.

  "How am I even caring?" I ask.

  "Have you seen your self with Aiden, anyone can tell that you would give him the shirt off your back or take a bullet for him. Anyone could tell you would sell your soul if it would make your mom happy. You are one of the most caring people I've ever met and you would make a good mom just like your mom," he points out.

  I blush while a few tears still fall down my cheek. I mess with the pendant on the necklace but my hands get intertwined with another pair of hands.

  I look up at Jahseh to see him staring back at me. I meet my lips to his for a a few seconds and smile at him.

  "I love you," I tell him.

  "I love you too."