Dell's Journey

Chapter 2: Dell

This story begins in the middle of things. There is a neat

literary way of stating this common literary technique, but

my schooling has failed me at the moment, or rather, I have

failed my school. But even though this story begins in the

middle of things, it does not mean our hero hasn't had

plenty of experiences before, even if most of them have

consisted of a far tamer temper than this.

***

Our hero is Dell. He is neat. Polite. He is a bit

too introspective for his own good, but he still manages to

enjoy many types of social interaction. He smells nice on

almost all occasions, although he does perspire at a rate

that would suggest some sort of nervousness. Dell comes

across as a fine and genuine, yet hesitant fellow.

Dell has a pet: a very short, very hairy little

quadruped that never leaves his side under normal

circumstances. This is a story though: one may assume that

circumstances will be anything but normal. With Pet, for

that is his name, it can be difficult to determine which

end is which, not for any unsavory or embarrassing reason,

but simply because he has a short neck and is so hairy.

Dell has not always been clean-shaven, but he is now.

Recently he read the statement, "Even the most effeminate

man can grow a beard," and decided it was time to stop

basing his masculinity on hair. Dell has always considered

himself normal. In some ways, he has even been proud of

it. He has statistically normal tastes:

1. Comfortable furniture

2. Trend-based attire

3. A well-kept house

4. A moderate collection of music and literature

5. Animal companionship

6. A hearty appreciation for attractive women.

Dell distinguishes himself with his love of poetry, his

skill in and appreciation of verbal intercourse, and his

intense vulnerability to beauty. Dell has a:

7. Taste for alcohol.

On the other hand, Dell has enough sense to realize

that he is probably not normal, and that in fact, no one

is. He has often heard the question, "What defines

normality?" and recognizes its merit. But he also feels

that perhaps being normal isn't what he seeks so much as

being fulfilled. There again he encounters the problem of

not knowing what fulfillment is, or how to get it.

Dell is crippled by options. What to eat, what to

drink, what to wear, what to do with his life, what to

believe, what to despise: he is paralyzed in indecision.

Then there is loneliness. Dell is lonely and it

doesn't feel good. Sometimes he wonders if he's done

something bad and God gave him loneliness as payback. To

deal with his loneliness, Dell has a coping mechanism: he

says that it's ok to be lonely because all people are

lonely to one degree or another. He reasons that he feels

loneliness because he understands his limited capacity to

communicate with and to understand other people. If that's

loneliness, well, he'll take it. At least he "gets it," he

thinks. The appealing thing about this coping mechanism is

that it fills Dell with a sense of superiority.

Loneliness can make you do things though. It can make

you feel like nothing matters; that nothing is worthwhile

if you're alone with no one to share life with. In Dell's

case, loneliness makes him do nothing.

Loneliness, social norms, fulfillment: Dell talks to

Pet a great deal about all this. Some people talk to

themselves when they're alone, and some people imagine

conversations with people in their head without making a

sound. Dell just admitted that he needed to get some stuff

off his chest and took the logical step of conversing with

his animal.