"I don't know! I'm – I'm beginning to think all of
this is just a waste of time! It's neurotic. I am
starting to think I have some sort of complex, you know?"
He then proceeded to form the beginnings of all the cuss
words in rapid succession and growled in rage.
Monster was quiet in the face of Dell's outburst, and
stared at his feet as though they were of great interest.
"I think you should consider 'getting it all out.'"
Dell had assumed a pitiful position: down on hands and
knees with his head drooping. He was motionless for about
ten seconds, and then he stretched out onto his stomach and
closed his eyes.
"I...I really don't know if I can," he said slowly and
in a tone that suggested a startling defeat. "I don't
think I can let myself. It's all one. It's all part of
the complex. How can I let myself go? I just can't."
"This is ridiculous," began Monster. "Listen to
yourself! Here, after a remarkable day of exploration and
discovery, the first-fruits of our new bold and adventurous
life beginning to blossom, here is where you throw off
everything you've achieved and wallow in self-doubt and
second-guesses. Look what we've done! We've faced fear,
danger, hunger, pitch-darkness, the unknown! We've scouted
out a bizarre, impossible room in the middle of a mountain
with a fake sun, miles upon miles of coiled electrical
cables, and fields of flowers and berries that hang upside
down like bats from the rooftop!"
"I know, I know!" moaned Dell, "I do have a problem.
That's what I said!"
"Well stop having it!" shouted Monster. "Just give it
up! Let it all out if you want, and don't if you don't!
Just stop being such a hesitant little baby!"
"Oh, you're one to talk," Dell lashed back, attempting
self-defense.
"Oh stop," replied Monster, annoyed, "don't do that.
Of course I have problems too, but that's not the point
right now."
Dell was sullenly silent.
The white lights, like a huge grin of little teeth
faded out suddenly, as though staying on had been a strain,
and the two were left in absolute darkness again.
Monster started in a softer tone of voice, "No more
crippling doubt, no more second-guessing. Uncertainty will
come again, but let's not allow it to define us anymore."
Dell's head felt heavy and over-full of thoughts. It
ached a little.
"I hate to admit it," he said wearily, still sprawled
out on the ground, "but that's it."
And then his tone brightened, and his head cleared a
little.
"Listen to this: say you're afraid. That doesn't mean
you should rush headfirst into the open mouth of a sea
monster. Just because you've suddenly realized that you're
vain and you put too much stock in your appearance doesn't
mean you should burn your clothes and hair-products upon an
alter. Just because you have doubts doesn't mean you
should give up on everything you ever thought was right and
believe in nothing. We can do it Monster, I know we can!
People have done it before, and we can too: we can be
normal people –the normal people that so many of us are in
danger of never becoming!"
"Ah, we're growing up," said Monster in a sarcastic
voice that didn't quite hide his satisfaction. "Of course,
I should be grown up already."
"Oh well," said Dell encouragingly. And the presence
of that slimy, afflicted little beast that drug himself all
over the passageway in pursuit of Dell, felt very far away
for the moment.
YOU ARE READING
Dell's Journey
FantasiThere comes a time when every man must go on a journey. This is Dell's story.
