Helplessly in Love ~ Girl X Girl

Chapter 3

Just a few minutes minutes later the doctors came out of her room again to tell me what had happened.

"She started breathing on her own again and so her body didn't accept the way we gave her oxygen" I breathed out heavily because I was so happy.

But then I started to worry again. So I ran out of the hospital into the rain which was purring onto the street. I went away from the roof which protected me from the cold rain onto the sidewalk. There the rain hit me like little pieces of ice. It was the best I ever felt.

The weather described my feelings so well. It was just bad. Already every piece of clothing I was wearing was completely wet, but I didn't care at all. I would have stayed in the rain where I started to cry again forever, but those stupidly caring nurses dragged me back in and rolled me up in blankets.

I couldn't continue being in the hospital with Jimin anymore, so I called my father to pick me up. Without  further questioning he did so and drove me home, where I showered and changed.

For my new outfit I picked a baggy hoodie and sweatpants, both black. Then I got myself a cup of tea and sat down on my windowsill. Just moments later my cat jumped onto my lap and I brushed over her soft fur. That calmed me down a bit, but not enough so I bursted out into tears again.

My cat licked my tears away with her rough tongue. (Don't get dirty minded!) Because that tickled, I had to giggle. The last time I giggled like that was the day before Jimin's post with her.

It was coincidence that she came to my class and became my friend, but is was the best and at the same time worst thing that could have ever happened to me. I never expected such a thing to happen, but still it did.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize how late it had already become. It was like 4 am when I left the hospital, but when I looked up the clock already showed 10:10 am and the sun was shining onto my through the window. My cat had fallen asleep and I didn't want to wake him up so I just sat there.

As soon as the cat was awake again I got up, grabbed a random book of my shelf and laid down onto my bed to read. But just seconds later I jumped up again, because I smelled Jimin's scent on the sheets, which was still smell able from the day she tried to comfort me.

Quickly I changed the sheets, but I couldn't help and putting the old ones close to my nose I took in her scent. It reminded me of cherry blossoms and peonies. Those two and roses were my favorite flowers.

'Maybe I should send her some flowers to her room in hospital?', I thought. As I finished that though I grabbed my phone, earphones, wallet and a jacket and went to a flower boutique.

While deciding which ones to take I tapped the case of my phone with my fingers in time to the music. That was a habit of mine, which Jimin always smiled at.

In the end I took a bouquet of flowers in all the different colors of the rainbow, but in the middle there was one white rose. White roses symbolize grief to me, that was one thing that Jimin didn't know about me.

I was to scared to bring the myself, so I sent them to her by a delivery service. Hopefully the will still smell and look as good as they do now when Jimin sees them.

After I paid and thanked the woman on the counter I went home again and started writing a poem as I always do if I want to express my feelings. I tried it over and over again to find the right words sometimes slamming my head on the table because I just can't find them, but even when I had written a good paragraph I ended up crumbling up the paper and throwing it into the bin.

Desperate I ran my hands through my long brown hair and closed my eyes. 'That can't be it, Sofia, you just can't need a whole collage block for just one stupid poem', I thought to myself.

I didn't finished that poem on that day in the end. I just left things as they were and went back to read the book I wanted to read before.

This time I really paid attention and sucked up every single word I read. That's what I love about reading: you could dive into a completely different world and be someone else, someone better, even if it is just for a few minutes or hours.

I didn't remember how late it was when looked up the next time from my book. It must have been about one or two hours later. I did it because my phone interrupted me.

Annoyed I looked at the caller's ID, who dared to call while I was reading one of the most exciting parts of the book. It was Jimin.

I fought with myself wether I should take the call or not. The decision wasn't easy for me, but still I had to make it.