hood; UNCOVER [ levi x reader ] DISCONTINUED

chapter 6

It was moments like these that I absolutely despised; moments where the silence is so overpowering that I could physically feel the pounding of my heart against my ears, a somewhat reminder that I am still alive and breathing. Which I will never know whether it's a good thing to acknowledge that or a bad thing.

Because what is the point of living without purpose?

I lived my life like this, from what I could remember, being on the receiving end of indistinct responses.

He stood in front of me like he was the one in need of answers, as confused and left out as I was.

"I didn't come here to join the Survey Corps," I whispered, walking closer to him which caused him to stand alert and step back. "I came here because when you saw me, you were the first person in years who seemed so sure to know who I was."

His stance softened, as if saddened by my response.

"I mean, at first you were," I explained, "but now you don't even want to be within the same room as me-"

"I thought I knew who you were," he turned back around to face the window, picking up the tea cup that was on the window sill, "but like you said, I must've mistaken you for someone else."

I felt exhausted, the tears instantly threatening to spill as quick as he placed the cup against his lips. Sitting against the edge of the table, I let emotions fall.

I was tired, as well as irritated, both at myself and at the people around me.

I'm tired of the lies that my own "family" let escape from their lips.

I'm tired of the excuses that they made to avoid my questions.

I'm tired of the one sentence vague answers that both Levi and Hange has given.

"I'm tired," I finally spoke, so quietly that it almost came out as a sigh. "I am so tired of living my life as if it wasn't even mine to live. Do you have any idea what's like to be around people who knows you more than you know you, or to live your life always looking for answer? Always waiting for something to happen that might give me even a slightest hint of who I truly am?"

I took a deep breath, finally letting the tears fall after all these years of keeping what I truly felt hidden due to the fear of disrespecting my family.

"It hurts." I breathed, before the silence between us drowned us once again, only the soft songs of crickets and the castle settling echoing around us.

"That's not my problem to fix." He simply said, turning around to walk pass me.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

hi yes another one, sorry. Anyways, I am so sorry that this chapter is kind of short and rushed. I was going to address some of the things that people were confused about but I changed my mind about making that as a separate page so I just kind of cut this chapter in half.

TO THOSE WHO ARE CONFUSED;

THIS TAKES PLACE YEARS AFTER "HOOD." This takes place years after [n/n], or the main character, had left the walls to do her own expedition. She is still the same exact person, just without her memories.

LEVI KNOWS WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE. The only people who knew what she looked like, as stated in "hood" were Levi and Hange (as well as her brother). Due to the shock of believing that his love one will never return, only for her to come back and not remember who he is has put Levi in denial. Levi's personality was usually cold and closed off, and when he "lost" her, he went back to that persona. Plus it has been years, so Levi might've started questioning if he actually memorized [n/n]'s features as great as he thought he did.

I'm not sure if that is all of the things that some people might've been confused about or if there's more. If there is more, please don't hesitate to state it or message me about it.

I AM SO SORRY that my writing could be really confusing, I personally absolutely love stories that makes me think a bit outside the box. Like instead of directly stating exactly why one reacted the way they did, I like to think of different reasons.

As for the first book, "hood", when [n/n] had reacted very irrationally, I saw it as that she wasn't exactly angry at Levi for not following up to his promise, but more at herself for not following up to her own promise to herself of protecting her brother. She was just not very good at controlling her emotions.

Anyways, I really really hope that my message didn't come off as rude or anything like that. I absolutely am so grateful for all the love and support (and criticism because I do appreciate that as well) I've received from this story. Thank you so much to everyone, you guys make me so happy awh thank you bye okay love you sorry.

This is my last time writing so much during my Author's Notes I'M SORRY anyways I'm planning on starting to post on either Saturdays or Sundays so let me know if that's not liked lol okay that's all BYE