The Muffin Man

Robbie's Concert

Hunter looked around at all the old people that crowded around the veranda where the band was playing. When Robbie said "concert", Hunter thought he meant a good singer, drums, guitar, and bass players. Not this trumpet, flute, clarinet, bassoon, trombone, saxophone crap.

"And you play the trombone?" Hunter had asked.

"Superbone," explained Robbie."Ever since I was a kid with my granddad. Don't tell anyone, though."

"So, you are a superboner?"

"Superbonist."

"You're a superboner."

Looking over now as the band was playing, Hunter spotted Morgan for the first time since this morning. He had liked her all during the eighth grade, but he knew that she was in love with the tall, blonde Neil Flammel, who he found incredibly annoying.

And wasn't she supposed to be meeting Neil later anyway? Then why go to this concert. Hunter realized she probably just likes Robbie, too.

"Morgan, what are you doing here?" Hunter said. "Get a load of Robbie and his superbone."

"I know he plays the superbone.I play the flute, derrr."

"I know, you are the flutist. THE flutist." Hunter always put emphasis on that and Morgan had no idea why."Isn't today your birthday, too? Why are you spending it here when you could be with Phoebe or Neil."

"I'm meeting Neil at nine. And the Muffin Man sort of ruined my being with Phoebe or any other of my friends and, plus, I promised Robbie I'd come yesterday when me and him went to McDonald's," said Morgan.

Mrs. Russell found her and went on and on about how her and Robbie were meant to be together forever and ever. It wasn't like Morgan got enough of this from her own mother as well as Robbie's mother or anything.

"I knew you'd come tonight, Morgan,"she said. "After all, you did tickle Robbie into telling you the time of the performance. Oh! You guys are so perfect together. Come on, I'll buy you an ice cream, you and Hunter. Anything for my practical other son who lives at my house and my future daughter-in-law."

"Well, I'm sort of already dating this other guy. After this, I have to go meet him at Monni's," said Morgan. Yeah, it was a stretch.

Mrs.Russell looked crushed. "No..."

"His name is Neil and-"

"No! But Robbie and you went to the Eighth Grade Dance together! Not you and this Neil!"

"I'm sorry," Morgan started to apologize. She saw Robbie look over from the superbone section.

"Mark my words, Morgan Cooper! One day you will be married to my son and there is nothing you can do about it. I know where you live! Mwahahahahaha!" Mrs.Russell went off to take video of Robbie playing some more.

Hunter looked to Morgan as she rubbed her eyes. "Neil and Robbie? Wow." He was still wondering why Morgan never once looked at him like that. It wasn't fair, he had asked her to the dance way before Robbie did. But Robbie was Robbie to Morgan. The ever-growing source of confusion.

Funny, at that moment, Morgan had called Neil for about the tenth time since their plans to meet earlier today and he wasn't answering her. She wondered why for a moment and then shrugged it off. He'd come around, she knew.

"I'm not really dating Neil. Not yet anyway," said Morgan with a laugh. "Now, where's Shelby? She said she'd come so I wouldn't be alone, but I didn't know you'd be here too and now-"

"Why do you like Neil so much? Why?" Hunter had to ask."No offense, but it seems like he's gay. Or just isn't into you. And didn't he make you cry that one time? And he's annoying and stupid. Even though he's probably the smartest biscuit out there, he's stupid. And gay. And ugly. Why do you care so much about him? WHY?!"

What made him really mad was that Morgan wasn't answering him at all. Just staring deadly at her phone after she had called Shelby to ask where she was.

"Should I have told you 'Happy Birthday' first?" Hunter asked, taking it down a few notches.

Then she started crying. Even from on stage,that got Robbie's attention.

"I'm sorry, Morgan."

"It's not you, it's-it's.... he said,'It's the Muffin Man speaking.' The Muffin .... the Muffin...." Morgan was trying to say in between sobs.

Hunter was really confused now. "What? She's not coming?"

"Shelby's dead!" Morgan said."The Muffin Man got her and I was so stupid I asked why wasn't she here. Now he's going to get us! Waaaaaa! Waaaaaaaa! She was my only friend I could really talk to.."

"You can always talk to me," Hunter suggested. He was quite surprised that Morgan fell into his arms. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

Morgan kept crying. "But now he's coming for us. No! Look!"

She left him as suddenly as she came and pointed to further down the road. It was a masked figure, riding a skateboard, yielding a knife. No doubt it was the Muffin Man, wearing a Saw mask.

Hunter quickly grabbed Morgan and hid them in the building closest to the veranda, which happened to be the police station. Unfortunately, due to a miscommunication, all of the police were at Monni's already.

"He's here," Hunter said."The Muffin Man."

Morgan couldn't just hide in the police station, not when the secret love of her life was outside playing the superbone. Yes, she did have undescribable feelings for Robbie Russell that she'd never admit and will continue to downplay until certain happenings in the ninth grade.

That would never come in this story, though.

As she just stood there in the grassy field among elderly citizens of the village, watching the Muffin Man chase Robbie from off stage and used his own superbone to push him into the creek. The Muffiin Man jumped in the water after him.

"NOOOOO!!!!" Morgan said. She and Hunter made up for their moments of awestruck staring by booking it to the creek, a random off duty cop at the station trusted Hunter with a gun for the time being.

Hunter shot at the figure in the Saw Mask in the shallow water. Morgan saw the superbone on the banks and saw that Robbie was gone and probably floating away as they stood there shooting the killer.

The onlooking crowd cheered as Hunter and Morgan joined in the creek to reveal who the Muffin Man was.

Hunter proudly tore off the Saw mask to reveal the face of his best friend, Robbie. Oh, how the Muffin Man really pulled one over on them. Hunter started crying in the middle of the creek as he realized the killer tricked him into killing his best friend.

At least there was a muffin basket with personalized ribbons there to make up for the inconvenience.

With awful timing the police arrived, Morgan looked at her phone and realized it was almost time to meet up with Neil. With one last hug, she left poor Hunter to pursue the other love of her life of the week and also to pull one over on the Muffin Man herself.