Before The After (Tom Hiddleston Fan-Fic)

Chapter 15

Gird your loins!! It's going down in the story real soon. The fluff and romance will very soon be swiped out for some drama and angst. Can't wait to see your reactions, my dears.

-Bea xox

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Kate's Perspective

I didn't sleep well the night before I was scheduled to leave for Morocco, my eyelids felt like lead but it was like my mind was too awake to allow the rest of body to rest. I seemed to sleep in increments, the longest time I slept was about an hour before I pointlessly woke up, my eyes staring into the dark. Tom was fast asleep, however, one of his arms underneath my head while the other wrapped over my waist. I shifted, against him, turning onto my back. He only tightened his grip on me, pulling me into his chest. I smiled despite myself, kissing Tom's chin before I stared up at the ceiling.

I knew it was Tom's words from earlier that were making me a bit distressed. His earlier plea to let him help me was stuck in the back of my head, his words constantly replaying themselves in my head. I hadn't known how to respond to it all at the time--I was never a dependent person, so asking for the help of others was never very easy for me. But Tom had it all mixed up, all of it, and it made me feel horribly guilty that I was hiding such a big secret from him. Things weren't as black and white as they seemed, and the complicated nature of the situation only made me want to hide more from him.

Not able to stay still in bed for any longer, I gently removed Tom's arm from my body, throwing back the duvet. Tom groaned softly and then rolled over, his back facing me. I smiled, pulling the duvet up to his shoulders before slipping on a sports bra and some ripped shorts. I pulled on Tom's hoodie and slowly padded of the bedroom to my studio, thinking that painting would ease me up.

On my way, however, I stopped in front of the full length mirror in Tom's living room, the light from a lap illuminating my silhouette. I had begun to frequently avoid looking at myself, but my curiosity got the best of me.  I bit my lip, an anxious frown on my face as I unzipped the hoodie to reveal my stomach. I clenched my jaw silently, a mixture of emotions coursing through me.

You couldn't really see it yet, this early, and rarely did people notice it. It was easy to hide because you couldn't see it head on while looking straight at me. I always had to turn to the side to see anything. I placed a shaking hand on my stomach, curving it over the small, almost indiscernible bump. I enhaled sharply, noticing that it had grown a little since I'd last looked at it.

The fact is that it hadn't been my work that was stressing me out, starving me, or causing me to lose weight. I'd been assured that it was probably a component but, not the main cause. The main cause had been the little stranger inside me that had been causing me to throw up everything except my internal organs in the past several weeks, which led to the weight loss.

I found out three weeks ago that I was about  two months or so along in the pregnancy. I hadn't known, or even suspected something was wrong until I started to hate coffee, my favorite drink in the world. Tom had noticed that too, but only smiled and said he wished he could quit the stuff just as easily. But couldn't shake it as easily as he did, and I scheduled an appointment with my doctor the following day.

I quickly zipped up the hoodie, my breathing uneven and my heart thumping hard in my chest.

I was going to start to show soon. And then Tom would definitely know.

Dear God, I thought suddenly, my eyes widening in horror. How the fucking hell was I going tell Tom?

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