Before The After (Tom Hiddleston Fan-Fic)

Chapter 19

Kate's Perspective

"Say it."

I jump, surprised to hear Tom speak after we've been sitting in silence for a little over an hour now. I've been a little preoccupied with pretending to nap on the couch, my feet propped up in his lap, and he's been just as busy pretending to read a new script. After faking it for so long, I finally made it and was half-asleep when he finally spoke up.

We've both been uncharacteristically quiet since the lunch at his parents, more or less deliberately avoiding each other so one of us won't have to talk to the other about Tom's unusual act of chivalry. Once we got home, we both changed out of our clothes, and then he went to his office and I went to make a sandwich. After I ate that, I watched a movie, fell asleep on the movie, and then woke up to find it was nearly dark outside. I made dinner for myself and Tom and then we ate that too. A mild conversation was started but it was only a filler. Something about the news or the weather that I can barely remember.

Tom asked me to stay downstairs with him, so I did, and its where I've been ever since.

I don't open my eyes but shift my position a tad, laying on my back as I stare up at the ceiling . "Hmm?"

He doesn't miss a beat. "I can almost hear the cogs turning in your head, Kate. You've got what sounds like a shitload to say to me about the what happened earlier, so I think you should say it."

He's never been one to mince his words, Tom. He always says what's on his mind and won't apologize for it (and even if he does apologize its because he's a big softie that won't stop apologizing for things that aren't his fault), which is one of the things I love about him. But this time, I can hear the change in his voice and know exactly what his problem is.

"You turned it off, didn't you?" I mumble, biting at my lip.

He doesn't say anything. I hear a page turning and I scoff. "I can hear it, you know. I don't think you think I can hear it. Whenever you're pissed about something, you put up these stupid walls--"

"Don't start," Tom warns, his voice hard. He finally looks at me, his blue eyes icy and cold. "I don't want to fight, Kate, not tonight."

"We're not fighting." I snap, my voice taking on an edge of it's own. "Not yet."

Tom makes a sound between a sigh and a groan. "If you're cross with me, you may as well say what's bothering you. I'm sure it'll make you feel better once you've yelled at me."

I sit up, frowning at him. But he's not looking at me anymore, his eyes glue to the script once more. "No. You're the one that'll feel better after I start yelling. It's never about I feel." I lay back into the couch. "This afternoon proved that."

And just like that, he's slammed down the chunk of papers in his lap and has snatched the glasses off his face, furious.

I get up quickly, leaving him there before I actually act on my thoughts of choking him. I've gone from passive-aggressive to pissed in two seconds flat and my body is dizzy with adrenaline.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" He calls out after me, following me into the kitchen. "Kate."

The distraction that I've chosen is food. A bag of croutons to be specific. I drop open the top of the bag and pour the entire thing into a glass bowl. I pop one onto my mouth, chewing it while staring up at the man that is the father of my child. The crunchy, garlic taste makes me start to feel a tad bit better than I did two seconds ago. I don't what to strangle Tom anymore...I just want to yell at him.

"It means, Thomas, that I can take care of myself! I can defend myself! And I don't need to win my battles for me!"

Tom throws his hands up. "No, of course not! God forbid I ever defend my pregnant girlfriend from my hateful sister who was practically staring holes into your face ever since we stepped in that house! God forbid I love you enough to want my family to at least respect you."

His sarcasm stings more that it should and I flinch, biting into another crouton. "You're going to ruin any chance I have at them liking me. I mean, Tom, you never would have kicked her, ever, if I hadn't been there."

I could see him soften at that, his hand moving across the island to touch mine. I slid my hand just out of his reach though, ignoring the pained look in his eyes. I couldn't move on just yet.

"They all love you, Kate, it's just Sarah whose having a hard time."

"Why?" I ask quickly, swallowing my food. Tom's eyes immediately close off, retreating. I clench my jaw and blink. "Just tell me what she said."

"I can't, I'm sorry." He breathes, looking away from me.

The tears that catch in my throat catch me off guard. I swallow them quickly, walking around the counter where Tom stands, my croutons long forgotten.

His eyes are fixed on the floor and he's tensed, his shoulders taunt. He looks frozen, suspended in this harsh stance. But his eyes... Crystal clear and bright blue. Pained.

My steps are careful but sure, knowing any second I could set him off. He'd shut down and he'd never say anything at all. I stop a few feet in front if him, my hand reaching up to touch his face. He grabs it and places it on his cheek closing his eyes as he leans into my touch, his other hand going to my wrist, holding my hand there on his cheek.

"You don't have to tell me now." I whisper, letting my thumb trace his high cheekbone. "You don't even have to tell me today, or this week."

A tear slides down his face as I speak, his eyes still closed. "She's scared." His eyes open and look on his face reminds me of a boy that's just seen the monster under his bed. "She knows how special you are, how different you are from the others. And she's scared I'll hurt you, that I'll ruin it again."

I give him a small smile, my eyes filling. "Did you knock up any of these other girls?"

A surprised laugh erupts from him and I grin, wrapping my arms around his neck while his hands find their way around my waist. He lifts me up off the floor a little and I squeal. He kisses my hair and squeezes me against him.

“We'll make it, Tom." I say into his neck, kissing his nape. “We will."

But, at this point, I'm honestly not that sure anymore.

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So sorry I've been gone!! Writer's block and school have gotten in the way. This chapter is on the short side, but I promise the next one will be longer and a lot more interesting! Don't forget to comment and vote!!