Dead Childhood Dreams: A Toy Story

No More Toys

(Harris Residence)
Andy: Ok, mom, I'm going to the campus now.
Jackie: You got everything?
Andy: Yeah.
Jackie: What about your toys?
Andy: (Sighs.) Can you pack them up for me and send them to my dorm?
Jackie: Sure. And Andy!
Andy: Yeah?
Jackie: Just be careful.
Andy: You don't have to worry mom, the university is safe.
Jackie: (Sighs.) Ok. Be safe. Love you.
Andy: Love you too! (Walks out.)
Jackie: Now, to throw his crap away. (Goes to Andy's room. She looks at all of Andy's toys.) Gee, I'm surprised he didn't get bullied. (Notices Jessie the Yodeling Cowgirl.) How does he have this? I left this on the side of the road when I was like four. (Grabs a baseball bat from the room.) Ok, shipping time! (She swings the bat, destroying a few toys. She picks up Hamm and shakes him around.) There's not even money in this little shit! (She throws against Hamm against the wall. She goes to a shelf holding a few toys and swings the bat at them, knocking the shelf off the wall, destroying a few toys.) Want to leave me Andy! Then your toys'll leave you! Leaving just like he did! (She swings a bat at another shelf, knocking it down.) All men are the same! (Notices Woody and Buzz on Andy's bed.) Oh, his favorite two toys, Woody and Buzz, hell I even got two toys with the same names. I guess I'll burn you two.
(Jackie's sister walks in the house.)
Sister: Jackie, I'm here. (She walks to Andy's room.) I came by to check up on- WHAT THE FUCK?!!!! Jackie?! These are your son's toys!
Jackie: Yeah, but I hated that little shit! Leaving me alone!
Sister: This is about Bruce, isn't it?
Jackie: Yeah.
Sister: Look, I'll ship what's left of his toys to the No Zone.
Jackie: Thanks.
Sister: Well actually, it looks like these three are in good shape. (Picks up Woody, Buzz, and Jessie.) Want me to ship these ones to his dorm?
Jackie: (Lights a cigarette.) No, just ship them all to the No Zone.
Sister: But aren't these ones his favorites, 'cause I've seen him play with these ones the most.
Jackie: I said all of them. And believe me, that's not the Woody he plays with the most.
Sister: Ok.
(1 Hour Later)
(Jackie and her sister walk out of the Post Office.)
Jackie: Wait a minute, why didn't we just burn them?
Sister: (Stays silent for a minute.) I guess we could've burned them and said it got lost either way.
Jackie: Roseanne, do you know how much that cost me! And you didn't even offer to pay just a little bit!
Sister: Not my problem...