A Way Back

Chapter 18

Elizabeth's POV

I closed the door and followed him inside. He placed his jacket and lied his head on the sofa. He looked tired yet he was trying his best to act normal. I hate seeing him like this and I wonder how he had spent these last years. How many times he was tired, sad, confused, depressed maybe while I wasn't there to help. But aren't I the one who caused him pain few years ago? I hurt him and I am the person who is afraid to see him like that.
" Aren't you planing to sit  ? " he snaps and brought me back to earth.
I placed myself on his side unable to look into his eyes "come closer "I look up with a query. Nervousness filled my blood, without any word I decrease the distance between us  until our legs touched. he laid down placing his head on my thighs. I kept my hands up in surprise.
He let out a long breath and murmured " is it bothering you? "
" N-No " I run my hand through his hair slowly back and forth. He breathed In relief.
"Don't stop " he snapped. It hurts me to see him like this knowing I'm the reason behind it but look at him coming back to me. He could've gone to his girl but he chose me. And I can stay like this my whole life. Chris being around is a gift I don't wanna lose again. I did a big mistake  leaving him behind. what did I gain from running away from my family, friends, and Chris?
I always thought that emotions are a big obstacle to anyone's dream. Either they make you settle and accept your being or go  wild . Both of them don't depend on logic neither work. I knew my entourage won't understand my point of view , Chris himself , that's why I decided to leave without a single explication. Here I'm dealing with so much emotions and all it does is making me confused , I even forgot about my goals and what I came here to do. 
When I was a child everyone was asked about who they wanna be when they grow up, the answers were basic stuff (doctor, teacher, policeman.. ) but my answer had always been "CEO " bizarre? Yes. Everyone back then said the same thing. They were asking tons of questions like  "Is your father a CEO " "do you know what does it mean ?" "Where did you hear this ? ". No, my father isn't a CEO. He is a lawyer.
my dad and I used to watch a show called "CEO's and Success " He loved that show, me too actually, even that I didn't understand a thing, all I knew was they would  go to someone's office and  share a chit chat with  them, and each one gave them a walk around what's look like a company. When I was little I didn't know what does it mean but because I liked that show every time someone asks me about my dream I say CEO.
As I get older I managed to  ask my father about the meaning. And he replied " a CEO is a director that's responsible for everything in a company. He controls everything "
"Do all CEOs appear on this show " I reclaimed?
" No, only successful ones, "I thought a little bit and snapped " how can someone be successful? "
" He needs to work hard , focus on his dream, also he should have good manners" I furrowed my eyebrows " Dad why aren't you successful? "
" because in these domains success means letting go of plenty of things, you should travel more and dedicate all your  time for work. I chose you, your mother, Sarah, and Liam. I chose to settle Down"
From that time I grew up doing anything and everything to be a CEO. From getting good grades to sacrificing many things.
I wanted to be successful, I wanted to be in that show. I didn't want to settle down.
I looked down at Chris. He falls asleep peacefully. I held his head slowly, grabbed a pillow, and place it under his head . I don't know what is he suffering from ? or What happened to him? And I can't even ask him about it . All I can do is take care of him when he comes to me.