Restart: A Fire Emblem Awakening Fanfiction

The Shepherds

You always said that if our bonds were strong enough,
Not even some supposed fate could shatter them.
But what if there were no bonds,
from the beginning, to break?

      In this world, she spared Chrom hardly half a glance. Not just to keep the distance, but also because he was the constant reminder of what she now lost. Every time his kind eyes turned in her direction, it was like a knife to the gut because those were Lucina's eyes. Every time the sun hit his hair and reflected that pretty sapphire, how he tapped his index finger to his thigh whenever he was frustrated or in thought; those were all Morgan.
      Chrom was the embodiment of both of her children — children that she'd never see again. The desperation in her lungs seeked the air above her ocean of tears, and they drowned.

It's what's best for everyone;
This is the only way.

      She stopped helping Frederick stoke the morning fires; no longer perfected her carrot soup in the evenings with Panne; never threw a single fig at Lon'qu; and gave up on scolding Lissa for her pranks. But despite everything, of course, the Shepherds had to be charismatic and endearing in their own ways. Despite ignoring Nowi's demands to play, the manakete would always chase after her during a march to some tiring battlefield, handing her a pretty flower or a shiny stone she had seen along the way. The tactician would mumble a thanks, or throw the object to the side, but always walk away. Ricken often tailed behind her after dinner, asking her to teach him more advanced magic (Miriel and Tharja's teachings were to complex and confusing). But his eyes always lit up way that achingly reminded her of a future son that wasn't meant to be, so she stopped the lessons and shooed him away. Even Olivia, the shyest of them all, begged her to teach her how to better use a sword, so the tactician tried to dissuade her, telling Olivia to turn to Lon'qu, Frederick, or Chrom for such skills. The dancer, surprisingly, was unrelenting, claiming that they were far too harsh and didn't know how to hold back on a delicate girl such as herself. (Delicate? When she was one of the most determined, no matter how modest, Shepherd of them all?) When the tactician asked why she thought she was any different, the dancer simply blushed and smiled.

"I trust you with my life, Robin.
We all do."

Don't say things like that.
If you speak a lie so kind, and so cruel,
I'll forget why I did all of this in the first place.

      And no matter how many times she told herself that it was for the best; that it was going to protect everyone; that it didn't matter how she felt because she was the start of everything, the void in her chest grew deeper, the scars on her heart remained, and her loneliness loomed in every corner of her mind.

      When Chrom proposed to the girl he loved in this world, her heart reopened the tender wounds and no matter what she did, the blood never stopped flowing away.

      The day the royal wedding took place was how her heart finally tore to shreds, and she gave up on trying to replace and repiece the puzzles back together. She had been dreading this day since the afternoon they had found her lying on the field, and her anxiety had only redoubled after the war. From the "I'm too sick to come," to the "I have an important meeting that I can't miss," she tried in every possible way to avoid the wedding. And yet, the look in her lord's eyes that pleaded his "best-friend" to come, chained her feet to the red carpet, and she masked her suffering by the tears (of sorrow) of joy cascading down her cheeks.

"I hope the two of you will remain happy forever."

Weren't we happy in our castle, Chrom?

"I'm sure Emmeryn is overjoyed, wherever she may be."

Emmeryn loved what we had, and so much more, Chrom.

"You will be wonderful parents."
...
I miss all of you.

      And that's why, when this world's Lucina drove her blade through Robin's chest, the tactician accepted her fate and gave a small prayer of thanks.

Maybe it's about time,
I joined my real comrades,
My real husband,
My real children,
At the grave.
Let me finally...

Rest.