Speak Now: A Taylor Swift Fan Fiction

01. Mine

"John..." I called out to my soon to be ex-boyfriend. "What is it Taylor?" he asked, clearly annoyed. I wasn't ready to let go.

John was a year ahead of me and went to study in New York. He was back for Christmas and it was the only time he and i actually got to be together in 3 months.

You'd say this is great, but it's not. John came back from college, a completely different person (after only leaving for 3 months, i must add) .

He wasn't the John I was used to. He was rude, swore a lot and wasn't the gentleman I fell in love with. Exactly what I was afraid of. He didnt even call or send a text on my birthday last week.

We used to be the 'it' couple. He'd always go out of his to make me happy. The romantic guy. I remember once whe it was raining and I was upset by my parents' break up, he called me and made sure we kissed in the rain. 'Just for the effect' he replied when I asked him why not kiss inside like normal people.

"John, before we end things, can we have one more day. Just give me tomorrow. Please," I pleaded. I sounded desperate.

"Fine, whatever," he said not even bothering to look at me. He didnt even look like he just told a girl 'it's over'.

--------****-------

I got home and thought of everything I had planned for him and I tomorrow, for his little welcome home.

Tomorrow would've marked our 3 year anniversary; but I doubt he even remembered that.

-------*****-----

I woke up bright and early and took a long shower, thinking of everything John and I had done together. He was my first everything.

I had imagined us going through everything together. Me Graduating a year after him, our wedding, our kids, us reaching menopoures together then dying together at an old age.

Those were all my dreams. He always laughed when I told him and we'd plan our wedding.

I hadnt realised that the water was going cold. I only realised this when i felt warm water slowly make its way down my face. I was crying.

I got out the shower, and dressed in a free summer dress and flats. Perfect and comfortable outfit. I blow-dried my Blonde hair and let it get back to it's usual curls behind my back. [lol, literally]

I was never one who did make-up, but I didn't want my mom (or John) seeing that I had been crying, so I applied a bit of powder, eye-liner and mascara to pop my eyes. I added clear lipgloss to complete my look.

I heard John's car bell outside and ran downstairs. The old John would've come into the house and flattered my mom with unnecessary comments- this one was apparenlty in a hurry.

"Where to?" John asked without even greeting. I was still getting used to this new him, so I was shocked for a few seconds and said, "the lake."

The ride to the lake was disturbingly quiet. I turned on the radio and Fantasia's "Lose To Win" was playing. It felt as though the lyrics were directed to me.

"Have you ever, need someone so bad?

But he aint willing to make it last?

Sometimes you've gotta lose,

to win again"

I held back the urge to cry.

"Let's get the fuck out of the car, whatchu waiting for?"

His voice. He sounded like Eminem rapping. I was waiting because he never let me open my own door. Ever. In 3 years.

"Listen here, bitch" he said, "I'm not one of your fans so you better hurry the fuck up, ive got places to be."

The language he used. John never even cared about my Celebrity status. He, Austin and my Mom were the only ones who treated me fairly.

I swallowed a lump and got out of the car, with my sling bag that I got in Austria. "Sit," I ordered. And he obeyed.

We were both sitting on the green grass, facing the water.

"John," I began, "When you came into my life, I was scared. I was afraid of making the same mistakes my parents made. I was afraid of falling in love with you and you promised me the world. I asked you why we should bother with love if it never lasts."

I could see that John was thinking and his new 'bad boy' aura was dissolving. He looked deep in thought. So I continued reminding him.

"Do you remember?" I asked, "You promised me the world and I let my gaurd down for you. Do you remember how it felt sitting there by the water" I pointed towards the lake, " you'd put your arm around me and we'd to plan our future on how we'd take on the world together. I was a careless man's careful daughter and you made a fun rebel of me. You are the best thing that's ever been mine, John."

My voice was getting thicker.

"While you were away, when it was hard to take, this is what I thought about," I continued, "I thought about us sitting here at the lake with your hand around me."

"Taylor," he said surprising me, "I'll never leave you alone." He said, "I remember how it felt sitting here by the water. I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter. She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

"Then what happened?" I interrupted, "why do you want to break things off now?"

"Promise me you won't leave after I tell you this?" he asked after a short silence. I nodded.

"All this acting. It's hurting me too. I thought being a jerk would push you away from me so I wont have to break your heart. I really love you," he said. He looked like he was waiting for a reply.

I was confused. 'I love you' isnt a question so it doesnt require any answer.

"We had a party," he said, "and I had sex with--"

"YOU WHAT????" I didnt even let him finish. "YOU-YOU-YOU JERK!!!"

"Tay," he pleaded, "I was drunk. I'm sorry."

"DONT YOU DARE TAY ME!!! You lost those rights when you couldnt keep your genitals to yourself."

The promise I made a minute ago was the last thing on my mind. I got up and ran to get a taxi. Shout-out to Mommy for teaching me to never go anywhere without 'emergency money' as she called it.

He ran after me, but I was already gone. I told the driver to take me to The Blue Lagoon Hotel and he agreed.

I called the manager in advance and asked him to organize security there, just so I could safely get in without Paparazzi. Those people appear from anywhere.

I was deep in thought. It wasnt the first time John had cheated on me. But I forgave him before. 3 times. Not this time.

----***----

When I got to the hotel, I was guided to my usual suite by Mark and Jake, the security guys. There was a bunch of roses with an apology note from John and I just put them in the bin and left them there to die.

He knew I wouldnt go home and would come here. Smart. But no thanks, it's over.