Speak Now: A Taylor Swift Fan Fiction

11. Innocent

INNOCENT  

People say you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. Not true. The truth is; you knew what you had- you just didn’t think it would be gone. The sad part is, once you realize that it’s gone, most people don’t go after what they had again. We just sit here and watch it go away. Watch him or her go away. I speak of my very own mother.  

We were at hotel restaurant having breakfast. By “we”, I mean Lizzy, Liz, Kirstie, Austin, my mom and I. Yes, Austin brought my mom with him. Would you believe that I haven’t spoken to my mom since that time we had a fight? I missed her. A lot. And I’m sure she missed me too. It’s just that both our prides wouldn’t let us apologize to each other. Another reason why I hate John. Remember when my mom and I fought it was because of John. It was like the part in Romeo and Juliet where Juliet says, “Deny thy father and be with me”. Not only did he break me down- he also broke my mom and I up. But then again, in order for me to be at peace, I have to forgive and forget.  

“Excuse me,” I said before walking off to the nearest bathroom. I had to avoid the awkwardness at the table. The silence was deafening with the only sound being that of forks and knives. Austin kept trying to make small chatter but it dissolved within 5 seconds after he started it.  

I was almost done washing my hands when I heard a voice coldly say, “Taylor.” I turned and looked to find my mom standing at the door looking at me with so much sorrow. “Mother,” I replied.  

We stared at each other for a while. Then we both came towards each other, giving each other one warm hug. We both had tears in our eyes. Not tears of pain or tears of joy. It was tears of longing (for lack of a better word). We had missed each other so much so as we cried it was a mixture of both. We were happy that we’d gotten back together and sad because we had missed each other terribly.  

“Taylor, I wanted to call you. I really did. But I wanted you to realize your mistake in advance before you made the same mistake again. I didn’t want you to make the same mistakes that I made.” The mother said.  

“I had to finally let go. I realized that you’re not my little girl anymore-“ “I still am,” I cut her short. “Yes. You’ll always be but I can’t make any decisions for you anymore. I thought letting you go see what the real world is like out there is the way to go. I knew the type of boy John was, that’s why I didn’t want you with him. When you chose him over me, I was really hurt. I guess I kind of expected you to come running back to me. I was hoping you would. You’ve always been a mommy’s girl.”

We were both silent. I had a tear stained face. She was a little puffy too. “Mom…” “Listen, Tay,” mom continued, “Life’s too short to be holding unnecessary grudges against each other. So all in all, I’m really sorry.” “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have just walked out on you. Especially since you were warning me for my own good.” Getting that off my shoulders felt great. That was the last weight I had. I was truly relived. To think all of this happened in the bathroom. In South Africa. Never in a million years would I have assumed this.

###

“Taylor, don’t cry my angel. Everybody has their time on earth,” my mom said.

Flashback : 2 hours ago

“Austin!” I shouted at my brother who had just thrown a water balloon and missed by just centimeters. In South Africa we don’t measure using inches, it’s centimeters. Mom had suggested that she, Austin and I go out to the park and have a full on childish day. Cape Town is a beautiful place with many beautiful parks. The weather was on our side and it was just the perfect day to be outdoors. “Ge…bu…lance,” my mother suddenly fell to the floor. “Austin! Austin! Get an ambulance!” I shouted.