I'm totally a wallflower (freshman year)

My b'day party, then it was September...

        My b'day party was pretty fun since Octavies, Sadie, and my other friend Julie D. got to come. We went swimming at Cedar lake then went to McDonald's to eat and hang out. Julie D. is 5'1", Mexican, black hair, and has brown eyes. Julie D is also a twin with 1 other set of twins in her immediate family it's pretty cool that me and my brother both have a set of Dominguez twins in our school grade. I got a lot of little party favors and we played with those throughout the part, when the party was about to wrap up We all got our favorite party favor, lined up in a long line to take a picture and it was just so much fun that day then I thought to myself "It's too bad we have school tomorrow or they could spend the night at my house."

        I don't remember much of September either but I what I do remember is this much: I went to a school football game, Dylan was working the concessions for Key club and that's when I noticed I liked him, I couldn't take my eyes off him. He looked at me every now and again and that made me blush. I seen him again when I had to walk in the apple festival parade and my heart skipped a beat but I still hadn't talked to him. I told my friend Julie M. about me having a crush on Dylan; She looked at me with the widest smile ever and told me to talk to him while she drug me over to him after school on September 27th. I remember this date very well because the introduction was a big part of my life. I noticed he was about 5'6", with really pretty brownish greenish eyes. I introduced myself and from my point of view I was a dorky geek because I was super nervous and finally was able to calm down after looking up into his eyes then down at the ground.

        I remember telling him my name, and asking him how he liked high school so far and what school he came from. I learned he came from a private catholic school called St. Andrew and he thought high school was "Alright" then the last thing I remember was him saying "Well, there's my mom. I'll see ya on *thinks for a second* Monday in math class." He waved at me and I waved back and he got in his car and left with him mom. my heart skipped a beat and I almost fainted because I thought he didn't know I existed until that moment but he DID! Later I found him on Facebook, sent him a friend request and he accepted it about 30 minutes later and we talked from 6:30ish to well after mid night that night about random stuff like what games, songs, subjects we like, how we liked previous years of schooling and so on. I found out he worked at the same ball park I did the summer leading up to freshman year and I just found that mind-blowing since I probably seen him around and served him since he was an umpire, and I was a "runner" for the concessions there.

        The next day was my sister's birthday and her party. I told Dylan that at the end of the conversation before we said our goodbyes and he told me he had to wake up at 7:30ish and work concessions at the soccer fields tomorrow so he'll be busy for a few hours until noon. I said "Goodnight Dylan." Then Dylan said "Goodnight Staci." Him saying that made my heart race because it seemed like he liked me too and I really wanted him to.

        We talked again off and on for hours almost everyday until around November 11th which is when he first started ignoring me at school and I found another guy in my world history class that I thought I liked so I just kinda left Dylan. That night my family went down to my grandmother's house to watch the walking dead and I knew she had had a doctor's appointment that day so I asked her what she found out. My grandmother said "Well...*looks at the floor sadly* he said I have colon cancer." When I heard that I was speechless because my heart and jaw dropped at that moment. I told Dylan that she had colon cancer after I got home and he didn't reply.

        I told my friends and only my close friends what my grandmother found out and the only one that seemed affected was Sadie. I wanted to cry so badly ever since I found out she had cancer but the tears wouldn't come. Sadie pulled me in for a hug so I hugged back and she started crying. I was hesitant about telling her because I knew she'd be more affected than everyone else and she'd take it way worse. I started to get sad after a week of not talking to Dylan 'cause I'd talk to him when he was on and when I had free time but now I was left with only my thoughts SO I started writing songs and the words just seem to come to me.

        I don't have a guitar to play so I knew I couldn't perform with playing my saxophone since I wanted to sing and my mandolin didn't sound right with the words and I just couldn't get a good rhythm on my keyboard. I wanted to start up a YouTube channel but I couldn't because I wasn't allowed to have one yet and if my parents found out I had one they'd probably delete it, ground me, and possibly slap me after yelling at me for a long time so I didn't get one. I wrote poems, songs and then typed them on a wordpad document then showed my friends at school the next time I seen them. Sadie would always sing/read them aloud even though I tell her not to she did anyway.