The Way To New Beginnings

chapter 22

And I say to him, "No, it's better not." In embarrassment, he does not ask me and he pulls me up, puts his hand in my hand and puts his other hand in my back, and we start to move slowly. He looks at me and I look down so as not to look in his eyes. He raised my head to him and said, "Do not look down, look at me." I have to stop blushing.

 And I change the subject which is not my business but I have to talk about it, "Why did you and Vanessa break up?"

"What?"

And I ask again, "Why did you separate? I know it's none of my business," I reply, and he answers hesitantly, not elaborating.

"Because it did not work out for us together"

"We were friends from high school, and in recent months I saw that it was not that anymore, and I did not know how to finish it until we had a conversation unfortunately in the library, and it ended badly but it ended." I try to understand and blur a question that might ruin this moment. "Do you start like that with any girl?"

 "And then when you're sick of her, do you throw her away?" He answers as if surprised and stops the dance between us ... "What?"

"What happened between Vanessa and me is not related to you at all?"

"I have a question?" Why are you so hard? "

"What do you think I want to play with you?" And I in total panic answers quickly "No, no?"

"Theo, I just do not know how to behave with a man or boys." And he looks at me and does not understand, I add, "I never had a boyfriend!" , And "You are the type of all the girls, you know without offense." He puts his hand on his head and is frustrated, well that's how it looks to me.

"Somewhere yes, I'm pretty scared to get hurt, even if we're friends."

 If I did not ruin it, I think to myself. And he looks at me and replies, "Do you think I want to hurt you?"

 And put both hands on my face? And says a sentence that makes me totally shocked ... "You're too important to me!" And I look at him wide-eyed, and without realizing it he approaches me too close, I try to say something, and he kisses me, a warm, slow kiss ... His hands come down from my face and hug me tight and I feel him close to me. And I want more, but not like that. I'm pulling away from him and quickly. And I walk to the door to open it, and Theo behind me holds my hand and turns me to him and looks into my eyes and says, "Where are you going?" I stammer, "um, I have to go. Everything that happened now is simple, no, we just no". I get confused with the words, and he says to me with a sad face in silence

 "What did not you feel what I felt?" And I blur

 "No, I did not feel anything."

I do not understand why you kissed me? "We're friends! Why ruin it? " Me and my tantrums. "Well, okay, nothing happened, you're right, it's just a kiss. What are you so nervous about?" And his reaction irritates me, I open the door and slam it furiously and go quickly to my room, enter quickly and then my mother just at the right time, stops me, and I boil, and she asks, "Is everything okay? ,

"Yes, I'm going to bed!" And she asks

 "Why what happened"? "

"Nothing, Naomi and I argued about some subject we disagree with, and I left in a bad mood, good night, Mother!"

 And I go into my room, she answers quietly, "Good night darling, I'm sure things will work out tomorrow!"

I tell her quickly, "Yes, of course." But she seems to understand that it's not just an argument, it's about something more serious, well, she's a mother, mothers always know everything at the end. I put on pajamas, go into bed and so furious, and tell myself what I thought I was doing, with him and the kiss? Oh, this damn kiss? And I want more, I do not want to, Theo is not for me, I mean I'm not for him, and I have to get away from him and hurry.

 I have to stop thinking I need to sleep. I hope that the thoughts will not bother me. Oh, what have I done?