The Way To New Beginnings

chapter 23

I moved in bed from side to side for several hours, and my thoughts did not leave me. What did I do? And how did I let him kiss me? Well, it's just a kiss, and a good kiss and I want more, I do not want to sleep. I close my eyes and start counting 1, 2, 3 until I slowly fall asleep.

I wake up in the morning light and open my eyes and have a terrible headache and my eyes are swollen with fatigue, get out of bed, trying not to think about what happened last night. My mother got up an hour before me and said good morning, and she made me a miracle of coffee, which I love, and then she asked me to know why I was nervous and went to bed early. She wants to know the truth.

"Yes," I reply, "Everything is fine! Why?"

 "Because yesterday I saw you were upset, and it does not seem to me to be an argument between Naomi and you?

"No, it was just a silly argument!" I say angrily. "Okay, you do not have to get mad." She raised her tone. "And why do you ask?" I tell her. "Because Theo knocked on the door and asked if he could talk to you?" I open my eyes. "What, what does he want?"

"And what did you tell him?"

"You fell asleep, and you were tired!" And I reply indifferently

"Okay, good" Mom looks at me with a strange face as if she realizes there's something strange about it, enough, stop reading my thoughts, it's annoying. And I pass on a subject about her and Dad, "And what's going on between Dad and you?" Did something work out? "Yes, we talked a little, he asked if I wanted to go back, and he was sorry that this situation between us ended like this!" "And what did you answer him?".

"I have to think about it."

"And I found a job!"

 "Oh, where?"

"In a clothing factory, as an accountant."

 Wow! , Excellent, congratulations, Mom, I'm very happy for you "

 "And maybe you'll really try to sort things out between Daddy and you, I want you to be together again, and everything worked out." With tears streaming down my eyes, Mother coming over to me and hugging me, stroking my head.

"Everything is okay dear, you have nothing to cry for, we'll get back and everything will be all right, and kiss my forehead and hug me tight.

After a few days I evasive from Theo, the Student Union organized a party, in a modest little place called "The Little House" an evening full of karaoke, dancing, prizes and of course full of students. And this is something I owe myself, to get out of all the mess I have now, an evening of liberation and pleasure. I remember what I was wearing, a long sleeveless turquoise shirt, tights and flat shoes, wild wavy hair without makeup, and maybe a little Lip Gloss, how excited I was when I came in, and I was full of students, I was so shy and close to my best friends. The place was as small as a small hut made of stone and wood, and a large, wooden outdoor space and benches, and a small place that accommodated everyone at least the students from the dormitories. Naomi points to the bar and says, "Come on, get out of the shock, let's go and drink."

 Naomi asked, "Well, girls, what do you want to drink?" And I raise my shoulders as one who does not drink and says to her, M? I do not know I'm not an expert on drinking, and Jenny joins me and says, "Well, I'm not that expert either, maybe Coca-Cola?" Naomi raised her eyebrows and said "

"No, really, are you serious?"

"We are now inviting chasers, not Coca-Cola, really." Naomi ordered us "Bad Apple" Chaser and explained, "Well, drink like me, just in one gulp, and then you see the lemon I have in my hand, just suck it, it will relieve the bitterness of the taste."

 And we lift Chaser and drink like her, the alcohol flows in my throat, and it tastes like sweet, "spicy, sour, and in one word" yuck.

Then Jenny screams, "Okay, come on, let's get a place out." I shake my head, and outside is full of students sitting drinking and some faking karaoke, and I innocently tell myself how much I want to sing but I'll probably fake it and then it'll be the shame of my life. Nobody here knows I can sing, because after that they will not leave me alone. And as this thought goes through my mind, Rachel turns to me and says, "If I'm not mistaken, can you sing right?" And I look at her with big eyes and begin to stammer

 "What, when, and how do you know that I can sing?" And she looks at me with a crooked face. "Am, a big bird whispered to me?" Or rather, Sharon your mother, she told me? "My mother and her big mouth she always had to tell people I can sing.

 "You know, I do not want to sing to a lot of people, I do not want to be embarrassed, and then she replies," Come on, Liam is karaoke, it's not X-Factor or The  Voice! "

"There are no judges here, what are you afraid of?"

"Look at them, but they fake the songs and the drunks and do not care that they are being laughed at"

"And besides, I heard you singing, when you did not notice I was around."

And Jenny turns to us and says, "Do you really know how to sing?" Go on stage, what are you waiting for? "

Naomi asked me, "Do not you care which song is right?" I said to her in a frightened little voice. "Um, no," she says. "Good!"

 And writes the song, goes to the front of the stage and brings to the DJ who is in charge of the karaoke the note in which the song is written, and I did not even have time to hesitate or stop it and she has already decided, oh my God, what am I doing?

She returns with a big smile on her face, and I look down and put my hands on my forehead and then Naomi says, "Liam is not a time to regret, you're going to be on stage."