Forty

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Hazels POV

I woke up in my bed. Oh. It was just a dream thank God.

My mom came up and said "how are you feeling?"

"What?"

"About Tay?"

"W-what? is she really gone? I thought that was a dream" I realized It wasn't a dream because I could feel the dry tear stains on my cheeks.

I'll definitely need to adjust my life without her now.

I was extremely sad but I knew I couldn't do anything about it. I called the family and told them how sorry I am. They aren't having a funeral or anything because they want to keep it very very private.

Since Tay has "passed" I realized that she'll be with me wherever I go, so I randomly start talking to myself.

"Tay what should I wear today? my striped Brandy Melville top with my high waisted Levi's? yeah I thought so too. I was gonna show you my new white hightop Chuck Taylor's but I never got a chance. Here they're in my closet if ya wanna see em"

I got dressed while awkwardly talking to...basically no one. Something just felt different, like... as if she was actually with me.

I headed down stairs for some late brunch.

"I made chocolate chip pancakes" my mother said.

Nick was at the table. I don't even bother talking to him anymore.

"Thanks mom"

"Nicholas did you hear about Tay" my mom said.

"Mom he won't care" I said.

"What did she do now" he said grumpily

"Honey this may be a little hard on you...but she... committed suicide."

My brother didn't say anything.

"That's not good" he mumbled under his breath.

I grabbed a pancake and walked away.

"We're going to the Grier's at 3:00" my mom said.

It's already 1:00

Man o man I gotta do some stuff on social media.

I tweeted.

"Yet another day in Paradise RIP Tay Blanchard. My angel in Paradise"

I posted a pic on Instagram of Tay and I and I said "Forever in Paradise precious RIP Tay Blanchard"

On vine I made a video : Not just another day in Paradise :

And posted it.

What? 2:20 already? We'll be leaving in 20 minutes.

I'm not exactly nervous... I just don't want to necessarily go to their house because Nash basically broke up with me.

I kept my clothes that I already was wearing on, and put on some makeup.

Mascara, winged eyeliner, some powder, and some lip balm.

"We're leaving now" my mom yells.

I grabbed my coach cross body and walked down the steps.

We went into our black Range Rover and left. It was just my mom, brother and I who were going.

Ok...I don't want to get out of my car when we get there. All I can do is believe I'm in another day of Paradise.

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