Anastasia Novelization

In a Crowd of Thousands

There they are again. My sister's by my side, the long hallway with the light under the door. Pushing it open I'm suddenly alone. I stand in my gown in a large ball room. My family dressed in white whirling around me.

"We're going to die, you'll join us soon." I look down at the young boy pulling on my dress. He steps away and then my sisters adorn me with necklaces and twirl me around them. The oldest dabs oil on my wrist and kisses my cheeks. She steps back holding my hands as long as she can before my parents take her place. I dip low in my father's presence he just stands there looking over me.

"Say your prayers my darling, you'll need them in the upcoming days." This comes from my mother who doesn't reach for me just stands there regally. My father then takes my hands in his  bowing and then touching my cheek before turning away. I reach out for him but then the scene changes and I'm in a room looking at them. 

The shots ring out from beside me. I close my eyes only to see their beautiful faces. When I open them they're laying on the floor, the smoke fills the room. The voices and the screams fill my head. "Papa?!" I scream trying to find comfort. This brings me to the present. I open my eyes to my own room. I kick the blankets off of me and jump into the coolness of my room. I'm breathing heavily and I can't focus. Their voices continue to fill my mind. I touch my cheeks and find them wet with tears.

"Anya?!" Dmitri runs into my room. 

I turn to him tears clouding my vision. "The voices... they... they keep coming back." I say gripping a bed post. I very nearly collapse in myself as the voices keep clouding my head.

"That's all they are." Dmitri rushes towards me arms outstretched. He stops before he reaches me "Anya you've had a nightmare."

I reach out to him frantically. "Please stay with me Dmitri." He reluctantly grips my hand and helps me sit on my bed. "I'm frightened." He sits with me waiting for me to calm down. It takes me a moment to compose myself, as I try to sort out all that I saw and all I was told.

"Better?" He asks. I look over at him. There is concern in eyes and for the first time since we arrived in Paris I feel at ease with him, like I could ask him anything.

I position my body towards him before answering. "Who do you think I am Dmitri?"

"If I were the Dowager Empress I would want you to be Anastasia." He says assured of himself. He hadn't answered my question.

"You would?" I ask.

"I would want her to be a beautiful, strong and intelligent woman." He says wiping the tears off my cheeks. 

"Is that what you think I am?" I ask staying strong wanting him to answer.

"It's what you've become." He says nodding his head.

"Thank you." I say trying to give him a smile.

"You're welcome." He says smiling back.

"You really think I might be her?" I need the answer, I need to be sure.

"I want to believe you were the little girl I saw those many years ago." He says, this time with a reminiscing smile.

"I don't understand."

He stands up and begins to pace, recalling his story. "It was a June day. I was 10 years old. The royal family was being paraded through the St. Petersburg streets and I remember there being a crowd. Thousands of people lined the road to get a glimpse..." He waves his outstretched hand painting the picture for me. It's helping me to smile and imagine the scene in my head.

"What was she like?"

"She sat straight as her mother and older sisters. She was only eight at the time but she was so proud to be up there with her family. Everyone was cheering and I was just so enamored by it all." 

"It's a nice memory."

"That's not all." He begins, " I ran alongside them, behind the guards. I was calling out her name. Somehow she heard me above all the screaming of the crowd because when I looked up she smiled at me. That gorgeous smile caused me to stop in my tracks and then she was gone with the parade... Sometimes I wish I could go back and warn her, warn them."

"Don't say that, no one could've possibly known where the world was headed."

He shrugs. "I know, it's just, it's something that I think about fairly often and I hate that it's overshadowed by what happened."

"If it makes you feel any better you've truly made me feel better. I mean I feel as if I were right there with you."

He laughs. "Well maybe you were. Make it a part of your story." I take the challenge. I stand up taking his place and he taking mine. I walk to the windows over looking the now quiet cafe across the street.

I start by stating what he'd already said, "There was a parade on a hot June day. It was lovely not a single cloud in the sky. I was looking out over the thousands of people. It was all so loud and distracting, but a boy caught my eye. He was thin, not all that clean..." I stop and look out of the corner of my eye to see Dmitri's reaction, but he's just laughed it off. Seeing his smile posses me and I suddenly feel as if I'm in one of my trances, everything is so clear now. "Guards lined the street but he ran in between them. He called out my name and started running through the heat and the crowd... I tried not to smile but I couldn't help myself. I smiled... And then he bowed." I could see it as it happened. I whirl around to Dmitri praying he'll confirm my claim. He's jumped off the bed.

"I didn't tell you that."

I hold a hand to my heart and try to see more. "You didn't have to. I remember!" He's struggling to find his words but mine come naturally as I recall the moment. "We traveled on..." I take a step towards him. "I blinked and then you'd disappeared into the crowd again." I feel happy. For the first time since loosing my memory I finally feel found. "I'm her. I really am." I fight the tears of joy as I launch myself into Dmitri's arms. He swings me around once and holds me tightly. "Somehow I knew. I don't know how but I knew I'd find you again." He's awfully silent so I pull from his embrace slightly. He looks into my eyes and then steps back suddenly. He drops to one knee and bows his head.

"Your highness." He says.

I'm left looking down at him not sure what to say or what to do. The timing of this, oh the timing. Our relationship had already turned rocky since we'd arrived and now I fear it might be coming to an end. I gently drop down to him and then he finally faces me. "You can't do that. Not tonight." He seems confused and even a little sad. "Tonight I need Dmitri, my friend, not my subject." He nods. We help each other stand.

Our hands are still linked as he finds his words, "Anya... I..." He pauses and shifts his tone dramatically, "I'm happy for you."

"Oh." I say disappointed letting go of his hands.

"What do you want from me Anya?"

"To say how you feel." I say letting my emotions and feelings slip.

"You can't expect me too, not now." He's right. 

"Things are going to change for both of us now. I don't know if I can go through it all alone... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not ready to say goodbye yet."

He lets his emotions drop as well, "I wouldn't dream of leaving you to face this by yourself, I couldn't do that." He reaches behind my ear running a hand through a strand of hair. "But after tomorrow, when you're introduced to the world, we can't... it wouldn't work." 

I nod. "I know." Saying it, I now know it to be true. He embraces me again but there's no passion here, just an act of reassurance.

"You should try to get some sleep." He says pulling away. "Tomorrow..."

"Tomorrow I become Anastasia, and say hello to my new life." I say rather coldly. Where there's usually a spark in his eye now there's sadness. He nods slowly before very gently kissing me on the forehead. He doesn't look at me nor does he speak as he turns to my door and leaves me alone barely breathing.

I'm alone, once again, in a new life I'd never thought I'd get. I sit back against my bed, a million thoughts running through my head. I feel sick to my stomach worried about tomorrow, worried about Dmitri and how I could possibly leave things with him. We still had tomorrow, it  would have to be enough.