A New Battle

A HARSH AWAKENING

Kaneki shot awake covering his mouth. Touka, who had been laying on Kaneki's lap, fell on the floor.

"Kaneki?" The others stirred. 

Kaneki mumbled, "I'm sorry" but it only came out as a whimper.

Touka raised to her knees-- rubbing her eyes. "What's wrong?"

He stumbled backward and the dull light of the television reviled his glowing red eye shrouded in black. Kaneki stumbled in the kitchen. He screamed, still trying to silence it will his hand, but the sound was still deafening.

It appeared he was pushed onto the floor of the kitchen. His shirt ruffled at the nape of his back then tore as his kagune released. They curled and dug themselves into the tile. Touka keeled in front of Kaneki.

"Kaneki. Please-"

"Stay away!" His kagune punctures the floor between the two of them putting Kaneki in a cage of his own power.

~"Dude!" Hide screamed.

*"What's going on?" Whimpered Yorkio.

You have to protect them

But we're safe

'You have to protect them from you.'

His Kagune dug deeper as it emerged out of his back. He heard his name being shouted but it was though water. The bodies of those he killed claiming on top of each other. Jason twisted onto kaneki's right arm and Rize clawed at the left. His blood spilled and expanded above him as they dragged him down. At least that's what Kaneki saw. He heard laughter through the ocean of scarlet.

Touka, Yoriko, and Hide watched as Kaneki's laugh filled the room. Not out of joy, or even sorrow, but the kind of laugh he could only share with the joker. He dug his nails into his arm,

Over

and over

and over

and over

and over--

as blood flowed down his body expanding into the puddle around his knees. Hide guided Touka away and leaned into the monsters cage. "Buddy, you don't look good. " 

The scratching stopped, not gradually but as a car going 100km per hour to still within an instant. The laughing ceased with the same veracity.

"STAY AWAY!" He took his head in his hands. The skin from his shoulders to his wrists were completely gone. "Stay away, away, away, away." 

Hide let out a single soft laugh. "Just like old times." He lowered his mask and let Kaneki's damp eyes take it in for the second time.

He was frozen their, only for a moment, but it dragged an eternity long.

"I'm sorry Hide." His kagune began to retract. "I never meant to hurt you."

~"I know" He whispered. 

Kaneki looked down at himself-- his arms already partially healed. 

"I've made quite a mess." 

Hide put his mask back on. 

"I'm never gonna hear the end of this from Yomo." Ken laughed. "He knew I'd damage something."

~"What's going on?" Kaneki gaped at Touka. Her cheeks were moist and more was still spilling over from her eyes.

"Nothing?" Ken tested.

"You've been acting strange for days." Touka wimped, kneeling in the puddle of blood. Kaneki's eyes were wide as he focused on her abdomen. She reached for his hand.

"NO!" he screamed again. She simply obeyed. Kaneki let his hands rest in the pool of blood that soaked his knees. 

*"Please," Yoriko urged. "We just want to help."

Silence.

"This is embarrassing." He laughed. "And stupid, but... I've been having these... nightmares." He clenched his fists. "I-I havn't told anyone this...I... It... Um-- Why is this so Goddamn hard?"

"Kaneki, please." Touka pleaded. "We want to help."

"I know... When my mom was alive." His eyes locked on the tile floor so no one could make out his face. "I would ask her for books, notebooks, pens, stupid things.  We didn't have much money even though she worked so hard to make ends meet. So whenever I asked for anything she would lose her temper and... beat me." His voice quivered. "I mean I guess you could say that... and in the dream I'm... " He covered his mouth choking a sob. "Beating our daughter until she's drowning in blood." He gave a soft chuckle. " I guess that wouldn't be so hard to believe." Ken slapped the blood river expanding at his feet with his fist.

"We both know that would never happen." Touka said.

~ "Yeah, no offense but your too soft to do that."

*"You're nothing like your mother." said Yoriko.

"You know the weight of what she did," Touka said. "You know what's right."

"I do?! Then how the fuck did I manage to kill so many people? As 'the dragon' as 'one-eye' as 'Haise' as 'the one eyed king'. I don't even know how many lives i've taken because I was so sure I was doing the right thing in that moment. Sure I know now, but what if I lose myself again?"

Silence.

"I don't want you guys to fix this. There's no real problem. I'm just wea-"

"Do you remember that night?" Touka spoke softly. "The night we made her?"She hugged her torso. "You were so gentle. Even when I told you to go harder your touch was still light." She cupped her hands within his. "So I don't think you have anything to be afraid of."

Kaneki smiled, touching his chin.

~"What else?" Hide asked.

"What?"

~ "Tell me the rest of the story."

"That is the whole--"

~ "Stop acting stupid."

He signed. "How cold have I become? I didn't want to lose you by what I've done."

~ "None of us blame you for what happened."

"I know but... " He sobbed. "I don't want to give you the chance to make me stay."

Touka whimpered, "You're not making any scene."

*"I think I know someone who can help."