A New Battle

Broken

The Kaneki household was silent.

Ken had his back against the kitchen counter, covering his overflowing eyes with his arm.

Shattered knives, broken forks, and even bent spoons surrounded him.

Of course none of these materials could even leave a mark on a ghoul's skin. Of course they weren't enough.

Even if they worked it wouldn't be like getting all your limbs ripped off. It wouldn't be like having your fingers and toes crushed. It wouldn't be like having a centipede crawling in your ears. It wouldn't be like drowning in flesh and blood.

A small knock rapped at the door. Ken remained unmoving.

*"Kaneki?" Yoriko made her way into the kitchen and stifled down a gasp. "I-I wanted to see if you were okay."

Ken said nothing.

She pushed the knives out of her way and leaned against the cupboard next to Kaneki. She just sat next to him, listening to each passing sob that forced it's way from the young mans throat.

"You know what I think?" He finally said. "I think we are all stuck in our own private traps. Stuck in them." He removed his arm from his face.

He waited for a response but none came.

"I think I was born in mine. It's funny. What's wrong isn't the fucked up shit I went through. What's wrong is a disease I was born with..." He looked up at the ceiling, allowing tears to cascade down his cheeks and drip off from the point of his chin. "Do you believe in fate?"

*"That depends on what you think fate is."

"What do you mean?"

*"I believe that fate is like a River. It drifts off into different streams and pools into ponds. I don't think anything was 'fated to happen'. I think we make decisions that causes our life to split off into a different stream." She laughed. "I don't know if that made any sense. I just believe that after you decided to go on a date with Rize your life had to end up this way. Of course their were many decisions made between then and now to get you here-- but you were fated to save Japan!" She let out a deep breath. "Am I even making any sense?"

"Yes." 

*"You made the right choices in life. You're a hero."

"Then why do I feel so guilty all the time? If I live a great life like everyone keeps telling me then why do I feel this hollowness, this sick desire for pain?"

She touched his shoulder, but he flinched away so she rested her hand back down to her side.

*"Ken it's okay to get worse after long strides forward. That's normal. You just got to remember to keep going forward."

"I'm not enough! i'm not held, and i'm never going to be!"

*"Yes you are."

"How do you know?"

*"Fate wanted you to live. Fate gave you a child, a wife, peace between humans and ghouls. Don't you want to see more of that? Isn't that worth living to see through?"

Ken crossed his legs and put his hands on the floor between them.

"I'm trying so fucking hard."

Yoriko smiled. *"We know, Ken. And we're all here to help you. No matter what."

"Does that mean Touka...."

Yoriko laughed hard enough to relive the tension from Ken's shoulders. "She didn't leave you forever. Couples fight, but she'll comeback." She patted Ken's shoulder "Touka has been crying since you left."

"Really?"

*"How did you ever get her to marry you?" She stood up. "I'll show you how real husbands end fights."

He took her hand