Jaywalking with Strangers

Chapter Three

"People presume my disability has to do with being an amputee, but that's not the case; our insecurities are our disabilities, and I struggle with those as does everyone."

Aimee Mullins

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I look at his face and the scar, feeling sympathy wash over me. Holy hell that must have hurt. The scar...his arm...the accident. Everything must have hurt so badly. And now he can't even ride public transportation without a random woman gawking at his injuries. I rush to apologise, feeling shameful. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked. You must think I'm so rude."

I catch my reflection in the tinted glass. I try to imagine what this man must be thinking when he looks at me. Messy blonde hair in a rough ponytail, a black tank top paired with my favourite jeans. An outfit I had shrugged on this morning without second thought. The jeans are ripped at the knees, fake-worn in that edgy aesthetic way that millennials seem to love. I picked this outfit for comfort though, not style. In this crowded area filled with attractive women dressed in low cut outfits and short skirts, I feel immature and plain standing here with my cheeks flushed red in embarrassment.

"Oh not at all, in fact it's rather refreshing to have someone just ask outright," he says "Most folks just gape at it but then pretend it's not the elephant in the room when it comes to conversation"

"Well an elephant wouldn't fit in here right now, so thank God my question isn't taking up any more valuable space." I gesture round the crowded tram with one arm, while my other hand holds tightly onto the pole, my fingers almost brushing his. Jay chuckles at my comment, a slight hint of dimples lighting up his cheeks. Geez he's gorgeous, I think silently.

"You're right about that, it's a bit busy in here tonight ain't it?" He pauses then adds, "It's my last night on the Gold Coast, I've been staying here for about two months. Thought I'd head out on the town for one last exploit before I venture further north." He brushes his right hand through his hair, moving stray strands off his face. I can't help but notice how he uses his left arm stump to brace against the pole, keeping himself steady even when his good hand is otherwise occupied. It comes naturally. He's obviously spent years adjusting to this new way of life.

"Oh...cool." I'm not quite sure what to say. I want to ask where he's moving to and where he's from. What he's been doing here on the coast. All questions way too personal for general conversation. Or maybe not, I mean he did introduce himself with his pet name for his own missing arm.

"I came here to learn to surf. I mean the place IS called Surfer's Paradise after all. Except it turns out surfing is rather hard to do when you only have one arm. Who would have known? Had fun though, so that's the main thing" He smiles again, mocking himself with a small shrug.

I can't help it, I laugh out loud this time. Grinning up at him I reply "That Bethany Hamilton chick who lost an arm to that shark seems to manage alright, haven't you seen the youtube videos? You should have asked her for some tips by the sound of it" I tease lightly, hoping he takes my comment as the joke it is.

"Well you see, Bethany has this little thing called balance and skill. I seem to lack both and I wasn't even that great of a swimmer when I had two arms, so losing one didn't really help." Jay says wryly, then adds, "My next exploit is fruit picking, maybe I'll have more luck there than in the surf."

I can't tell if he's being serious or not. "Fruit picking? Someone hired you as a fruit picker!?" Whoops, another insensitive comment. What way to put your foot in your mouth again Claire, I think to myself.

Jay "Well, they interviewed me over the phone. Missing body parts wasn't part of the interview questions, so I figured I'd show up and see if they fire me on the spot or give me a chance. You never know till you give it a go."

His happy go lucky attitude amuses me. It's so opposite to how I live my life. The thought of just winging it seems absurd. I always know where I'll be and what I'll be doing, and life is already planned out ahead of me I can feel it. Finish university. Graduate and find a good paying job. Save up to pay off HECs debts. Meet a nice guy. Settle down and get married. Quit work to have a couple of kids, and live the boring suburban married life that I know my mother wants for me, because she never had the opportunity herself. But is that what I really want out of life?

I ponder this question silently to myself before Jay breaks through my musings.

"Hey love, what's your name anyway? I saved you from faceplanting, you've met Stumpy and you've teased me about my failed surfing attempts and I still don't even know your name?"

I take a deep breath. Maybe spontaneous is good. "I'm Claire, nice to meet you."

Jay looks down at me with those beautiful magnetic eyes, his rich voice dipping quieter than before "Claire, this is going to sound crazy, but would you like to go on an adventure tonight?"

I'm shook to the core. An adventure? What the fark does that even mean? Is it some weird sexual innuendo? Questions swarm through my brain as the tram pulls to a stop, I can't see the sign but we must be close to Main Beach or even Cypress Avenue. Close enough to the bustle of the nightlife but still kilometres away from my own bus stop.

People swarm around us, picking up their purses or shopping bags as they prepare to disembark. It feels like everything goes in slow motion. I feel perplexed, I shouldn't even be considering this. Getting off the tram at a random stop with a man I don't know. It's dangerous and stupid. My mother would tell me off for being so irresponsible for even entertaining the thought. This is moving too fast, I don't know this person at all and it's getting late and Netflix is calling my name.

Yet as Jay reaches his right hand out to me, the question he just asked lingering in his eyes, I'm honestly considering it. I hear the doors open, people rush off. The doors are about to close again when I nod silently and grab Jay's work-worn hand. We step off the tram to the woosh of the doors closing and into the balmy late summer air and city lights.