Frozen

1.2

The reason I describe myself as ageless is because I don't know time. Well, I suppose I used to, but I've forgotten now. I don't know minutes, not hours, nor the days of the week or whether there are eleven or twelve months in the year. Even if I knew the time I couldn't tell it. I hardly have enough energy to breathe and keep my brain slowly ticking over- especially when it's cold.

I need food. I haven't eaten for a whole day and night, probably more... The only way I get food is by rummaging through the bins outside Tesco opposite the alley I sleep in. I sleep in the alley way because it shelters me from the wind you see. The way I see it is if the food smells all right then it's all right for me. Some stuff makes me so ill I sleep for weeks. Usually it's all right but I noticed they only chuck out their bins once every two or three nights, so unless I take extra I go hungry until then but there's no point in taking extra anyway; selfish blighters nick it when they're drunk. Most food goes bad sitting there for days so I have to be quick to get anything slightly decent. I have worked out which things last for longest. If the box of a chocolate cake is crushed it will just be thrown out. It's rare that it happens but when it does it's like heaven. It makes me sick and upsets my stomach because it's so rich and I never eat the whole thing which makes me feel awfully guilty. If I have any left overs I usually seek out other homeless men or women and give it to them. Or I feed the birds. Most of the stuff that gets thrown away usually is packaging or rotten fruit and vegetables which really disheartens me but occasionally I will find something good to eat. If I am correct, the bins should be put out again tomorrow morning which gives me from sunrise until the sun is fully visible to collect anything I can find. That's if I wake up in time at least.

So, that is the pain that is my life. There is no escaping it. No denying it. No hiding from it. This is my reality and as far as I know no one gives a damn about me. No one cares at all because they have a perfect life and take everything they have got in their lovely warm houses for granted. If I want to eat I have to go out and get it. If I want to go somewhere, I have to walk there my own two feet. If I want to entertain myself, I have to imagine everything- make up a game. If I want to survive, I just gotta get on with it. Simple as that.