Frozen

3.1

I have decided that slowly I will tell you little pieces about my life. This isn't a sympathy cry. I dont want pity. This is a warning to stop this from happening to you. No matter how perfect your life is, one thing can cause your world to crumble. The death of my fiancés parents was the start of this hell. To think, someone we had never seen or conversed with out of nowhere stumbled upon Mr and Mrs Davidson's street, chose their house out of the hundreds in their road and maddened by voices in their head decided to brutally slaughter those inside. Merciless killer. Dalie slowly turned into the psychopath that killed her parents. Except, she never meant to harm anyone. She grew to believe the voices that called her cowardly and told her she could see her parents again and they would make her fly. My stomach is twisting at the thought of how she felt when she fell off the bridge and her parents hands were not solid enough. I wonder what her last thoughts were often. Were they about me? Or were they anger filled when she realised the lies she had been led to believe? My stomach churned uncomfortably. I hope she heard me tell her I love her. It has never failed to amaze me through out my life how powerful the human brain is. It can make you feel, think and do good, bad and unmentionable things. It's crazy to think that some people can be so far gone they are beyond any kind of real help. I don't resent the person that killed Dalie's parents. I feel sorry for them. What they must have gone or been going through to get to such a point in their life they felt murder was a correct option. I do sometimes wonder if they are still alive. I don't remember the sentence they got, I only know that she was locked up. I have no idea if they release patients when they become more stable. I shuddered at the thought. I had heard of people that had faked a recovery for as long as necessary and had been rehabilitated under another identity only to murder someone else a few weeks later. But how long does it take to truly heal a traumatised person? Months? Years? A lifetime? Maybe I was kidding myself all those years ago when I thought Dalie would get better. I mean, how could she have actually recovered from that kind of thing? Seeing her parents, dead, soaked in blood, ribs on show... Not even being able to tell them she loved them one last time before they... Went. So close to Christmas as well. A time of joy when families should all be together. Not that Christmas though. We barely had a Christmas. It was too painful for Dalie. We stayed in bed most of the day, and saw my parents on boxing day. I have experienced too much grief in my life. I never thought it would be possible to see so much death in such a short space of time. I was probably very nasty in my previous life, which is why I am being punished in this one for all my wrong-doings. I rub away the tears forming in my eyes as my angel comes and sits beside me to hold my hand. She reminds me everything will be alright, someday.