Frozen

3.5

20th December 2012

"Hi, Mr! Guess what! It's five days until Christmas" Jasmine greeted me cheerfully. It was a thick snow fall and bitterly cold. There was at least two foot of snow on the ground, maybe three according to a passer-by I over heard talking in the phone.

"What?" I said sharply. She looked taken aback, "What's the date? The full one?"

"Umm, Thursday the twentieth of December two thousand and twelve... Why, sir?" I didn't reply, "Mr, are you okay? I brought you a sausage roll again like usual... Hey, what's the matter?" She rushed and sat beside me. Tears were slowly falling down my cheeks and freezing on my jaw and nose. I sniffed loudly.

"I never told you about her. I used to have a girlfriend, well she was my fiancé. Today is the date eleven years ago when her parents were murdered in their own beds in cold blood." Her facial expression told me she was horrified, "Oh it's okay, funnily enough that isn't even the thing that upsets me anymore..." I paused and took a deep breath, "It's been ten years and... What's the time?"

"Thirteen, twenty seven." She whispered.

"Okay, ten years, thirteen hours and twenty seven minutes since my baby jumped off the Queen Elizabeth the Second Bridge." I heard her gasp. Suddenly, I felt her arms around my neck. She was hugging me. I put my head on her shoulder and sobbed loudly. Soon, it hurt too much to even cry and Jasmine just held me until I was ready to let go. I felt foolish, crying in front of her like that but she didn't seem to mind in the slightest. She just handed me the sausage roll and sat next to me, watching me eat it. My throat was raw, my lips were chapped badly and my face was red and blotchy but I didn't care. It had been ten years since that fateful night. I felt really empty inside.

"I'm sorry I brought it up, Mr, I didn't know..." She began.

"Eh, don't worry about it, I'm glad I know, I can think about her properly today and grieve for her now. So thank you." She looked unsure but nodded, "I don't want to sleep today." I decided.

"Are you sure?" She asked me. I nodded.

"I want to talk to you."

"Okay, I can't really do any work now anyway because it's snowing too much." She brushed some snow flakes out of my hair.

"Can you do something for me?" I asked her.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Tell me what I look like." She looked startled by the randomness of the question but she studied me.

"Well, you have brown hair that is a bit grey in some places," she pointed to where on my head, "and you have brown eyes too, but they have..." She leaned in closely and scrutinised them, "little flecks of gold in them, and your skin is very tanned too. You have lots of wrinkles all over your face and under your eyes. Your nose is a little bit crooked to the right- your right, not mine- and your beard has lots of white hairs in it amongst the brown ones. Oh and you have lots of scars too, little white ones all over your face and neck and, well... Everywhere really." She smiled at me, "Was that okay?"

"Jasmine, you have educated me far greater than anyone ever has in just this short time you have been sitting with me. You have taught me the kindness that humans possess and have shown me how to trust again. Thank you." She didn't say anything, she just nodded. She could tell that no words needed to be said and I was grateful for her silence. Time passed very quickly that day, too quickly for my liking. When it was time to go I took her hands and said,

"Please, whatever you do in life remember me, remember what and who I have become, don't ever give up just because something knocks you down, you need to be strong with all of life's endeavours. Please, never loose hope." She looked at me curiously.