Frozen

1.4

​But for how long will I stay alive? That's the question that haunts me every night. What if I don't make it one more day? What if that's it? I can't even live life to its 'fullest' like this. I have nothing...

​Maybe I am nothing. Wouldn't that be a weird thing? If we were actually nothing and were just a part of someone's dream? I have dreams. Dreams of having a family. A child. A little baby girl. God I would have loved to have had a daughter to spoil and love and care for. My heart hurts so badly. You know when you have a longing for something that is so strong you feel empty inside? That is what it's like for me when I realise I don't have a daughter. Or anyone for that matter.

When I think about my life, I think about all the things I could have done differently. All the things I could have said. The silly things I did as a kid seem pointless now. What was setting my own farts alight ever going to achieve? The dreams I had to become a bank manager when I only had enough qualifications to work in McDonalds seem so long ago. All I know is no matter what I ended up doing in life I would have thrown myself into every minute of it without question. I'd be proud of who I am and would be proud to say I worked in McDonalds because that is who I am.