i hate this time. why? it reminds me of all of my failures. my failures like when I threw up in the restaurant's bathroom, terrified of gaining weight, after a great evening with friends. coming back to the table with smudged eyeliner and everyone asking if I was okay. well im not. but of course i didn't say that. i just smiled and said the coffee was making me a bit sick when in reality i was making myself sick. i hate myself for being like this.
