More Than a Kiss

Part Five: The Past, the Present and the Future

Part Five: The Past, the Present and the Future

"You don't need him Lukas. He's a jerk and you're better off without him." June says through the phone as I walk back and forth in my bedroom. Trying to convince myself she is right and I'm not a jerk for yelling at Ryan to leave. The look on his face still haunting my mind along with what he said.

"Then why does it hurt so much?" I complain.

"Love hurts Lukas this is exactly why I had a bad feeling about Ryan. Will you tell me what happened exactly?" she asks.

"I already told you we argued and I told him to move out in a month." I reply.

"Yeah I get that but can you tell me why? I know you've been hiding something from me. Did he hurt you? Did something happen you aren't telling me Lukas?" she questions.

"We slept together three months ago and nothing has been the same since." I confess finally telling her what I've been holding back.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she practically yells in my ear.

"It's fine, it's my fault anyway." I reply knowing I should have believed her when she said Ryan was too perfect.

"How?" she asks sounding confused.

"It always is so it doesn't matter." I say getting a bit irritated with all her questions.

"There you go again." she says.

"What are you talking about?" I respond puzzled by what she just said.

"You always blame yourself Lukas." she answers.

"Well it is my fault isn't it? I always fall in love with guys that will never love me back. Guys that will only hurt me just like Razor did." I say angry at myself for letting this happen to me again.

I ignore what June is saying on the phone not caring what she has to say at the moment. Knowing she can't possibly know how I am feeling right now. How confused and lost I am for words.

Of course she can't understand because I never even told her what really happened between Razor and I. I only told her part of it and left out the part about Razor telling me I got him pregnant by a kiss. I only told one person everything  Razor told me and that wasn't June.

***

Flashback:

I walk out of class into the hall heading to my next period as I pass by other students. I feel someone grab my arm and before I can do anything I'm suddenly pulled into an empty classroom. "What's going on?" I ask looking over seeing Razor shutting the door behind me.

"I need to talk to you about something it's important." he says sounding nervous and scared.

I want to be his friend at this very second and tell him whatever it is it will be okay. But as much as I want to be that best friend I was to him I can't. It isn't like that anymore. I'm still angry, mad, hurt and sad because of him.

"Talk about what? You made it pretty clear at the party you want nothing to do with me." I reply getting angry at how he can assume he can just grab me and tall to me like nothing ever happened. Acting like we're best friends still when we clearly aren't. We are the farthest from friends than we ever have been.

"What are you talking about I never said that? All I sais was that I didn't like you and I left. I know I should have did that and I'm sorry I really am." he says but his apology is too late.

"I don't need a stupid apology from you Razor. Just leave me alone and everything will be fine." I say getting more irritated as the seconds pass. How can he think he can just talk to me three months later and everything will be okay with an apology? Our friendship is over and has been since the night I kissed him.