I'm Fine (#Wattys2015)

3

As I walk out of my room, I grab the picture of Kylie. God, I miss her so fucking much. I look at it and see her strawberry blond hair, blueish gray eyes, and that smile. Kylie had a smile that could make anyone else smile when you were near her. Apparently, I have a smile that makes my friends smile, not just anyone. I am ok with that. My smile is a fake, to get people to stop and worry about me.

Example:  walking to class, "Hey, Jo. How ya doing?" Look them in eye, smile, say "I'm fine." when you most definitely are not fine. They say "good. Well I gotta go. Byes." and run off. They do not ask any more questions, don't think the smile is a fake. And then you both go on with your day.

Maybe, towards the end, Kylie's smile was a fake. Why couldn't I see that? We were practically sisters. Slept over at each other's house, went on vacation together, shop together practically all the time. She saved me and all I did was fuck up. I should have seen the signs. 'I should have...' keeps going on in my head. But it is true, I have been there. I could never go through with it because of Kylie.

I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen. My mom is baking cookies. Her get away is baking. Always has, always will. My mom turns around after putting another batch in the oven. "Hey, Sweetie. How are you doing? I am making cookies, want some?" she asks, trying to be nice.

Shake head no for cookies. Smile and say "I'm fine."

"That is good Sweets. And are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, Mom. I am as ready as I will ever be."

Mom smiles. "Ok, onward!!" Yeah my mom acts like a little kid sometimes. What do you expect from your 35 year old mom with a 14 year old daughter?

Mom takes off her apron and then marches toward the garage. As I walk after her she suddenly grabs my wrist. It hurts, bad. Especially since I accidentally cut too deep last night. My mom does not even notice that I winced. That is good.

Then she puts her hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye, which is not hard to do considering the fact that we are about the same height. "Josie, I want you to know that no matter what happens, I am here for you. I love you so much. If we need to leave, tell me. If you need anything, tell me."

"Sure, Mom." Like you actually love a fuck up like me. I could have saved Kylie and I did not read the signs clearly.

"Good." She smiles, lets go of me, and we go out the garage door and to the car. Our car is a bright red convertable. I think it is a Chevy.

Mom starts the car and off we go. Finally on our way to the funeral home.

******

Hey y'all!

So will you tell me if this is good. I know that it is full of short chapters, but that's life. Get used to it. Love you all.

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